When Tatiana and her husband decided to go their separate ways, she was forced to face some uncomfortable truths about her relationship with herself and her relationship with money.
Tatiana's Story
"My divorce was a blessing in disguise."
I've always said that good things come out of bad, and sometimes you have to fall to ground zero before you can make it back up. My husband was rich, so I never had to think about money while we were married. But when he left me, I had to figure out how to fend for myself. After the initial shock started to wear off, there was a little bit of panic, like, "What am I going to do? Where am I going to live?"
I allowed myself about a month to be the victim and cry about it. And after that I had work to do. I had to find a place. I had to find a place with a yard for my dogs. It wasn't just any house -- not everyone would accept dogs. I also needed to get myself a roommate, because there was no way I could afford having a house on my own. Even more important, I had to find out that I am just as powerful at making the money as he was and that I didn't have to live in fear. My lifestyle had to change too. I had to get myself on a strict budget. I also needed to do something with the little money that I did have. Stocks weren't something I really knew about, but I went to a money manager, who handles people's portfolios, and I met with him and he taught me how to invest. You don't have to have a ton of money to go to a money manager at all. You can start with as little as a few hundred dollars and you put away $20 a month. And before you know it, you have $500 in there. And then, before you know it, that's going to double and double and double.
"There are always roadblocks when you have to change your life."
One of the financial roadblocks for me was having to shift my lifestyle, not being able to go out to dinner as much, not being able to shop as much -- just really having to budget myself and set aside a little play money, because I do think that is important. That was probably the major adjustment for me. Also the fact that, now, I was responsible for making the money to pay my bills. It was up to me.
"When you transform your life in one area, it's interesting how all the other areas kind of fall into place as well."
Since my transformation with money, my life has changed completely. I own my own business and I met the most wonderful man who is my life partner and is very supportive.
For any woman that is going through what I went through, the first thing I would suggest that she do is definitely get some kind of financial plan, budgeting. And as a mantra, "Just trust." You have to trust -- you have to have faith that you can do it. As a hokey as that sounds, you just have to trust that the money is going to come, as long as you're not being lazy. Of course, you're doing things to make it come. But money attracts money -- the more that comes in, the more you'll get.
