Crystal Chapell of the popular daytime drama "Guiding Light" talks about juggling a job in New York City and a family on the West Coast.
Crystal's Story
"I always wanted to be an actress. I was just one of those kids who dreamed about it."
I started in the acting business in 1990, and I've been working steadily, knock on wood, ever since. I've been very lucky in my career and have enjoyed my experiences.
In 1999, I had just started working on Guiding Light when I became pregnant with my first son, Jacob. All of a sudden the producers had a pregnant actress on their hands, and they were terrific about it. Even though I had a very easy pregnancy, getting up at 5 a.m. and working for eight hours a day on your feet, usually in high heels, was really challenging. I was nauseous, I was throwing up in the trashcans on the side of the set. Hopefully, there wasn't a kissing scene going on that day because that's pretty sad for my costar. It's exhausting to be pregnant, but to be working and be pregnant at the same time really takes it out of you.
"By the time I had my second son in 2003, we made the decision for the family and the future to relocate to California."
The plan was that I would continue to work in New York. It never really dawned on me that it was something other than a great idea. My hours were flexible, depending on how big my story line was, and it was an important to us to raise our kids in a small town on the west coast. It's definitely a place where they can grow up and not be inundated with the reality of the world as it exists now. I wanted them to have that little piece of innocence for a while. It was a big decision to make, but also one that I felt was easy to do.
Of course, living and working on opposite coasts meant I was going to be on a plane 12 hours a week, and I hate to fly. There are other hardships, too. At times, I am simply lonely. I'm not with my family all the time, and one of my sons is having trouble saying goodbye to me. There have been many teary eyed goodbyes, especially for my littlest one. It's been a challenge, but we're making it work and learning a lot about ourselves.
"I've learned that it isn't so much about the quantity of time you have, it's the quality that counts."
Quality is a huge issue. I've learned in the year or so that I've been doing this commute that when I am at home, I'm present and I am there for my family. I am not thinking about New York or work. They have me fully, and I tend to stay pretty cool and make the choice not to overreact to certain things. I let a lot of things go and try to resolve them quickly. Because I know I only have a certain amount of time, I want it to be good. The big deals we deal with and then we move on. We don't waste our time being angry.
"We're a bi-coastal family, and we love it."
There's a wonderful balance in all of this, and a wonderful trade off. Being separated from my family can be tough, but I also have to look at the fact that there are weeks that I'm home all the time. I don't have to work at all, I pick my kids up from school, we go to lunch, make sock puppets. I am there more than a lot of moms are and can be. That's how I look at it.
When people ask me if it's hard on me and my family, I think to myself, I've learned so much about being a better mother, wife and person that the quality of my life has improved. It's a much happier life.