Saving My Brother

My brother was diagnosed with end-stage renal failure in 2005. We knew right away that he was going to need a transplant. My brother and I are very close, but he is not one to ask for help. When I got the phone call from my mom telling me that the transplant had to be done soon, I knew I wanted to be the one.

"The surgery took place on my birthday."

When my brother picked me up at the airport he sent me to the spa for my birthday present and so I could relax before the big surgery. And it wasn't until the morning of the surgery that I was starting to feel nervous. We both went to the hospital and the whole family was there except for my brother's little girls.

"I was definitely scared."

I am not a surgery person. I think I was most concerned about my brother and I was worried about the pain and getting sick when I woke up. The surgery went really, really well. They put my kidney in him and everything started working immediately. It was beyond any of our expectations.

I tease him now. I tell him: "Now you have part of me and now every year on my birthday you will have something extra to thank me for."

"I had no idea what I was getting myself into."

Before this happened I knew nothing about kidney failure or transplants. I got online and researched it and I talked to people who had gone through this experience as well. It was supportive to have those people. It is actually much harder for the donor than the receiver and no one really tells you that. I remember barely even being able to get out of bed the second day after surgery and I went into my brother's room and he was sitting up, eating a sandwich and watching baseball. I was still on morphine and it took everything in me just to get into his room. I was a little pissed off, but grateful that he was doing ok.

All in all overall this transplant has been such a great experience. I have met so many great people. I have become closer with people I already knew. My brother and I are much closer. I know this sounds strange but it was kind of a vacation. It gave me more time to reflect and think about things you don't normally think about everyday. I took all these books and things to do when I was in the hospital and I didn't end up doing any of it. I just spent time with my family, which is such a treat because I never get to see them.

"We couldn't have done this by ourselves."

A lot of friends and family were so amazing in so many ways. A non-profit group that I am a part of here threw a benefit for my brother before he left and it helped him out tremendously. We ended up raising $3600 in Los Angeles and my Aunt threw another [benefit] in Washington D.C. that raised $3000. Financially we had a lot of support. People we have never even met sent money.

"What I learned..."

A friend recently shared this [Harold Thurman] quote with me: Don't ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive and go out and do it, because what the world needs are more people who have come alive.