Should I consider adoption as an alternative to infertility treatment?

Introduction

This information will help you understand your choices as you consider adoption.

Key points in making your decision

If you have had infertility problems and are thinking of adopting a child, consider the following while making your decision:

• Successful adoption and long-term parenting requires the commitment of both partners and a dependable support system. The need for a solid support system is even more important for a single adoptive parent.
• There are many adoption options available to Americans, both domestically and abroad. The Internet can be an efficient and useful tool for researching adoption information.
• The adoption application and placement process can be as time-consuming and expensive as infertility treatment. While a U.S. or international infant adoption can take a year or longer, a U.S. minority adoption can take less than a year.
• Some adoption agencies have parental age and other restrictions for infant adoption. If you are in your mid-30s and are considering infant adoption, you may have to weigh agency requirements against your own timeline for starting an adoption process.

If you need more information about infertility treatment for comparison with adoption options, see the topic Fertility Problems.

Medical Information

What basic information do I need to know about adoption?

Information helps you feel more in control when faced with complex adoption and infertility decisions. First orient yourself with the following basics about adoption.

• You can choose between many types of adoption, including various combinations of independent, public or private agency, domestic or international, and open or closed adoptions.
• A small number of adoption information Web sites can provide you with detailed information. Start with the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse (NAIC).
• The adoption process involves extended waiting periods for information and processing, and ultimately bringing a child home.
• Some adoption agencies provide supportive services to help adoptive families adjust to their new lives together.

What are the risks of adopting?

As with parenting a biological child, raising an adopted child confronts you with a list of unknowns. Physical, intellectual, and mental health issues can unfold over time whether your child is biological or adopted.

Adoption poses its own risks and concerns, such as the possibility that an adoption process may not go through, unknowns about a child's genetic and health background, and attachment and behavior issues related to separation or neglect. The birth mother and father may have the legal right to change their minds about placing their child for adoption; in some states, relinquishment is final as soon as the legal papers are signed, and in other states, a period of time is allowed for the birth parents to change their minds.

Are you ready to adopt?

Deciding to adopt takes time and considerable soul-searching. As you prepare for this possibility:

• Spend time exploring adoption options, costs, and timelines in advance of a final decision to try or discontinue infertility treatment.
• Think and talk about questions to consider about adoption.
• Be aware that one of you may be ready to adopt long before the other. Some couples report that it has taken months to years before they were both ready to start the adoption process.
• Before proceeding with an adoption, allow yourselves time to grieve your lost hopes for a biological child.

If you need more information, see the topic Fertility Problems.

Your Information

The decision about whether to adopt a child takes into account your personal feelings and the medical facts.

These personal stories may help you make your decision.

Wise Health Decision

Use this worksheet to help you make your decision. After completing it, you should have a better idea of how you feel about adoption. Discuss the worksheet with your doctor.

Circle the answer that best applies to you.

Use the following space to list any other important concerns you have about this decision.

What is your overall impression?

Your answers in the above worksheet are meant to give you a general idea of where you stand on this decision. You may have one overriding reason to adopt or not adopt.

Check the box below that represents your overall impression about your decision.

Return to the topic Fertility Problems.