For Mary, divorce didn't mean she failed at her marriage. It meant she got a second chance to be herself.
Mary's Story
"I thought I was in love. It was that simple; someone came in and I thought that they loved me."
I was very young when I first got married. I was 19, and I was very jealous and inexperienced. He wanted to move away from my family, and I thought I had to move with him since I made that commitment. I wanted him to be with me, and he was off with friends when he should've been home. He was saying he was at work and he wasn't. We just weren't ready for each other. He wasn't ready to settle down and I should've realized that I wasn't either.
The marriage lasted approximately six months total. It got to the point where he had to get away from me, and I wouldn't leave. I am Hispanic American, and in my culture, a woman will stay with the man no matter what.
"I had to go home with my tail between my legs."
He sent his parents over to take me to the bus stop and practically threw me out. To be honest, it was the best thing that could've happened to me. When I got back to my parents' house, I stayed in my room, locked up for two or three days, just crying about it.
I overheard my brother saying, "If I ever see him again I am going to beat the hell out of him." That's when I realized I couldn't act like that. This was just as much my fault as it was his. I had to put on a happy face and walk out of that room.
I got into that situation because I was relying on others. I needed to do things on my own, and I decided to go to an electronics school. I was working two full time jobs, a part-time job, going to school and had a paper route as well. The last thing I was going to do was go back home and ask my parents for assistance or help. I made it through that and I knew if I could do that I could do anything. I became very independent.
"In my next relationship, I made sure he knew where I stood and accepted my independence."
I have a wonderful husband now who I met a year and a half after that relationship was over. He doesn't have a jealous bone in his body, he is a wonderful person, and he's stood by me in thick and in thin. It will be 29 years that we have been together this summer. We had four beautiful children, and we were so happy, we still are. We are still together so that means a lot. It has worked out beautifully for us.
