No one expects what starts out as a fairy tale romance to end up as Nightmare on Wisteria Lane, but that's exactly what happened to Annette when she found out her husband was leading a double life.
Annette's Story
"He was controlling, but I was in love with him."
I knew he was controlling, but at the time I loved him so much and would have done anything for him. Each year he took a little more from me. He made me quit my job, he wanted me to look a certain way for him. He made it very clear I was the sole parent of our daughter. I was to be home for him always. I did it because I loved him so much, and I wanted to be the great wife, the great mother, and the great homemaker.
"He was flaunting his dates in front of everyone."
I started doing research about his life, logging his cell phone calls every night - something I had never done nor would I have ever thought of doing. Something in me told me to look further. I also looked in his briefcase and files, which he was now locking. He had girlfriends and business ventures. He was even taking his dates to the same restaurant he took me and our daughter to.
I watched him do it for about two weeks, because I wanted to see his face when I would ask him questions. He was so good about lying. I would sit there and think, "Does he really think I am this stupid?" That is when I realized that he can only think that I am this stupid if I have given him reason to think that I am this stupid.
"I had to give up, but I had no idea what to do next."
Once I found out about the cheating it gave me permission to leave guilt-free. The divorce was the most difficult, challenging, enlightening, wonderful and educational time of my life. I have never learned so much about myself. I was finally able to experience life and have appreciation for everything that's out there. I needed to explore.
"Getting into the dating scene was as foreign as anything."
Here I was, 34, dating, trying to get to know myself. It was difficult to get into the dating. It was so foreign to me, hanging out at bars, partying and multiple dating, and on-line dating -- what is that!? Women in their mid-30s who are single are very different from someone like me who was in her mid-30s and had never been single. I remember a girlfriend I met took me out to meet her girlfriends at a bar. The women were beautiful, very made-up, conversations about their handbags and how they were dumped by this guy or that guy. It was so very awkward, a scene I was not at all comfortable with, but I knew I had to experience new things and people.
"Things ended up becoming miraculously clear."
All of a sudden I knew the direction I wanted to take with my career, I knew that whatever happened with the divorce that I was going to be ok, and with my daughter it didn't matter where we lived as long as we were together. It was going to be fine. In order to gain my life back fully I had to let go and have faith in the future.
