Staying in one place, doing one job made Shermakaye feel like she was spinning her wheels. Nothing could cure her but the journey of a lifetime, cleverly disguised as a trip around the world.
Shermakaye's Story
"I'm barely 30 and I'm already feeling burned out."
As an arts writer at the Dallas Morning News, I was working 60 hours a week. I had been able to travel a good bit as a kid and travel was really important to me, so I started thinking about just taking a break, a little hiatus from work. The more I researched it and the more I thought about it, the more I realized I could just quit my job and go traveling for a year. It wasn't really that simple, but I was willing to take the risk because I didn't have a house payment, I didn't have children, I didn't have a relationship that was keeping me there, and I was young. I thought, "If not now, then when?" During this year-long trip I found work as I went, from the Far East in Japan and concluding in Western Europe.
"It came together at a goat farm in France."
A friend that I had met traveling in Indonesia, said, "Hey, I've got friends, they have a goat farm. It's hard for them to keep people. You're just the kind of person that would love that kind of solitude and backwoods-ness." I wasn't sure if that was a compliment or not but he was right, so I contacted these people and told them I was interested and they said, "Come on down. We'll pick you up at the train station."
Goat herding was different from anything that I'd ever done. I had 40 goats plus a male, Le Bouc. I shepherded them, and everyday I would wake up, help milk the goats, then I would take the goats out of the gate of the farm and up through the valleys and up the hills and situate them. They never stayed still, but I'd get them in a little valley area and sit down and read for a bit. I had to shepherd them every day and bring them back in at night. It was a long, very grueling experience, but that was part of the spiritual challenge too. Physical work is very spiritual to me.
"Always watch out for the goat."
Le Bouc was the head of these goats, and he didn't like me. He was used to a man being the shepherd, and I was afraid of him at first. The moment he challenged me, I was watching some of the other goats. Early in my stay, the woman who owns the goat farm, Simone, had said, "Toujours, regardez Le Bouc!" I thought she was saying, "Always look at the goat." I didn't realize she was saying "Always watch OUT for the goat" until much later.
One day, as LeBouc started coming towards me, I could tell he might charge. I had my stick and I had my little backpack and book and I was just pretending to be completely nonplussed, but he kept coming closer. So then I started to whistle really loudly, but that didn't work. Then he started coming towards me, looping towards me and I realized that this was it, this was the moment that I had been concerned about, that I had tried very hard to avoid. And here it was.
He came up to me, and I had my stick with me, his forehead touched the end of my stick. I pushed the stick a little forward and he tossed it off to side with his horns. He came up and literally put his nose right at my chest and his horns were right there. I got my stick up and pushed it towards him and it freaked him out. He butted it one more time and I pushed it out and he finally backed up.
It was something that empowered me because I felt like I had overcome a really great fear, not just of this animal, but of being unable to handle myself in a very dangerous situation, being able to survive a very dangerous situation.
"Le Bouc was a metaphor for a lot of things in my life."
Le Bouc represented an ultimate choice. You either take a stand or you don't. You make changes and you continue growing or you die. There's a point at which you have to take a stand, regardless of what the outcome will be. Traveling has been a tool for me, for transformation or growth, reflection over the years. You are physically moving through the world so you can't stay still, you can't stagnate, literally and metaphorically. If you're really in a rut, walk around the block, take a drive to the beach or take a trip around the world if you can. If you travel, if you move yourself physically, it forces movement, internally.