Trying to create a new life was destroying the life Christine already had. Then, after seven heartbreaks, fate brought her and her husband a miracle.
Christine's Story
"We tried everything."
Nine years ago I began trying to have a child. For most people this is a fairly easy mission. For me it wasn't. The first time we got pregnant we were so excited and happy. Then I had a miscarriage. The doctor explained that this wasn't unusual. We jumped back up on that horse and tried to have a baby again. We had another miscarriage. After the third miscarriage the doctor suggested we see some specialists. We went through it all: artificial insemination, In Vitro, and time after time, we would get to the eight-week point and we would lose the baby. After our seventh miscarriage the doctor sat us down and suggested we find alternative methods.
"Not only was I not having a child, I was losing my husband."
Tragically, this whole thing was starting to affect my marriage. I started to consider adoption, but my husband wanted to have a family of his own. It was such a difficult point in our lives. I started to get very depressed and I felt I had nowhere to turn.
"I thought infertility was a private pain."
I was a director of human resources at a hotel. Even if I'd just had a miscarriage, my job was to be happy. In the morning I would have a cry in the car then I'd wipe my tears, reapply my make-up and walk in as if nothing was going on. I didn't really share what was going on with anybody because it's not something people talk about.
"I felt like a failure."
This one lady at work would say things like: "Christine, why don't you have any children?" "You should have more in your life." As much as I wanted to wring her neck and scream: 'I'm trying everything in my power to have a child and I can't!' I just smiled at her. Then I would go in my office and cry.
"I'd always been a well person."
Dealing with the health insurance [through our miscarriages] was very trying. Thankfully, somebody in our HR department tipped me off that I wasn't the only person at our company trying to get coverage [for infertility]. I went to that person and we found we were both in similar situations. We became a huge source of support for each other.
"We both got pregnant!"
After the seventh miscarriage the doctor suggested a gestational carrier which meant someone else would carry my egg and my husband's sperm for us. As we started pursuing our options my sister-in-law came forward and said she wanted to carry this baby for us. I'll never forget the day that the doctor called and told me we both were pregnant. And then a few weeks went by and my sister-in-law called and she was not feeling good and she did go on to lose the baby. Oddly enough, I didn't. Maybe it really was fate that took over. I was so focused on her I didn't have time to worry about myself.
"My daughter arrived on Mother's Day."
My daughter is just a complete blessing. Everyday I look at her and I think about everything that I went through to get to this point and it doesn't matter any more. She is everything I envisioned and more.
"My faith has been restored."
I was a very religious person when I started this process. I went to healing masses. I prayed. And then somewhere over time I became disillusioned with my faith, because every day I'd read in the paper about people abandoning their kids or killing a child at birth and I could not understand why God would bless these people who don't want children and not bless my husband and I. I felt like we were being deprived of this wonderful experience. I started to lose my faith. And that's when I found The Purpose Driven Life. This book was about the very thing I was going through. It was also about keeping journals, getting outside information, finding outlets to channel my emotions. It restored my faith.
