Sue Ann gave her son Tony up for adoption when he was born, but she always thought that someday she'd meet him again. After almost three decades, that's exactly what happened.
Sue Ann's Story
"I got pregnant, and I was scared to death."
Sue: My parents were very strict, and I knew that they wouldn't help me keep him. My mother wanted me to have an abortion, which you couldn't do because it was illegal, and I was too far along anyway. I never really felt that I had a choice to keep him. It was the thing to do back then -- give him up so that no one would know that I got pregnant out of wedlock. From the very beginning I wished that I wouldn't have given him up.
"I always felt that someday we would find each other."
Sue: I thought if he was anything like me, he was going to want to look for me, and he did. They opened up the adoption laws in Indiana, and that is what made it possible for us to find each other.
Tony: We both got the letter telling us who the other person was on a Monday, the Monday before Labor Day weekend. I said, "If I can get a reasonable flight, what would you think about me coming down and spending the weekend with you?" Then she said, "I have been waiting all my life to meet you, so sure come on down."
"It was a coming home feeling for me."
Tony: We had decided not to trade photos before meeting because I knew that I would recognize her right away. I remember getting off the plane to the receiving area, and she had a cup in her hand with a balloon on it that said Welcome. She also looked just like me. As soon as I saw her I zoomed right in on her.
Sue: We hit it off really well. He got a motel, but once he got here, we hit it off so well that he stayed with me.
Tony: I remember the first morning. We were eating cereal and she gave me a spoon test. She said, "Which spoon do you want to use?" and she put down a teaspoon and a table spoon. I chose the tablespoon.
Sue: I got made of growing up because I always used the big spoon. We found out we had a lot in common, that we had the same little idiosyncrasies. Neither one of us like to have creases in our jeans. We're both a little more liberal in our thought processes and how we look at other people and how we look at life. There were just so many similarities. We have more in common than me and my daughter, his sister. We can talk about really deep things, tell our feelings, and things we probably wouldn't tell someone else.
Tony: I am very open about everything with her, and I feel very comfortable with her. Sometimes I wonder if we don't have the baggage that some kids have with their parents since we don't have the history together. We didn't have those barriers so it allowed us to be closer in some ways. We were just like, this is who we are and we are going to accept each other.
"It was the best thing that ever happened to me. My life is so fulfilled now."
Sue: I wanted to find him for years. He thanked me for having him when we first met. That was awesome to me because I felt guilty for so many years for giving him up -- not that I had him, but that I gave him up. Even after we met it took several years to get over feeling guilty, even though he didn't make me feel that way. It is something that I carried with me, but it is finally gone.
Tony: I remember thinking that I was born in the mid '60s and what that must have been like for a young woman who was not married to become pregnant. If that would've happened ten years later, the possibility of abortion would've been so much more likely. But she carried through, she made the commitment to have me.
Sue: I still get overwhelmed that we found each other. I wouldn't trade these times for anything. I would encourage anyone, whether it is the child or the parent looking for each other, I would fully encourage it. Tony and I are very lucky we found each other, we are glad that we did, and we will always stay that way.
