Parenting is a full-time job when there's both a Mom and a Dad around. Take away half of the partnership, and it becomes the challenge of a lifetime. But with determination like Bonnie's, happy endings can come out of broken homes.
Bonnie's Story
"It was very tough getting divorced and being thrown into raising a child on my own."
I have been divorced for four years. I tried to make the marriage work for 11 years, and it was very difficult. It was just bad, and I didn't want my son to grow up in a home where there was no love. How do you explain to a child that your parents live in the same house but sleep in different bedrooms? That is not the impression that I wanted my child to have.
My son's father moved away to another country, and I don't get steady income from him. It has put a lot of pressure on me, but my focus is to make my son a well-rounded child.
In the beginning I did date, but I felt like there was a conflict there. All of a sudden I just woke up one day and said, "This is crazy. I am still young enough that one day I will find someone, but I need to set my life on hold so that I can focus on him." The dating really affected our life and his behavior; it was just so hard. He wants all of my attention, but when you put someone else in your life they want your attention too, and you are split and torn. That is when I consciously accepted that there was no need for another individual to come into my life when I have one to focus on and make a better individual.
I am not a male, so I have no clue sometimes. He comes to me and tells me some personal details, and I'm thinking to myself, "I don't know if I can handle this." Then I have to shrug myself back and say, "This is what is going on, and if you don't feel comfortable enough to tell me I will find someone that you can talk to." My friends are my family, and I depend on them. I ask questions all the time, I ask my friends' husbands, "What do I do about this or that?"
He comes home from school and says "My gosh, Mom, I have this project and I don't know what to do." We get on the floor and we work it out; we do it together. That is where our bond grows because he knows that I am willing to do whatever it takes to make him successful. We are a team, and this is a team effort.
Sometimes I break down and think, why did I choose to be a single mom? But I know it is not his fault, he did not ask to be born, and then I chuck it up and get up and go to work. We're always going to have issues -- with finances, with time for each other, with driving, with school – but I push that away. We live day-to-day and whatever happens, happens, but we are always going to be together and that is the most important thing to me.
