As a newly minted law school graduate, Marin had no idea just how challenging the first year of motherhood could be, but thanks to the support and perspective of her loved ones, the transition from legalese to baby talk was a little easier.
Marin's Story
"I had no idea what kind of a strain it would be on me."
I had my son Charlie right after I graduated from law school. I graduated at seven months pregnant and then had him in July. It was about as big a life change as I could have probably invented for myself. I went from constantly being intellectually stimulated and busy in law school - definitely setting my own time and pace - to being not really intellectually stimulated and just physically so tired all the time. I had no idea what kind of a strain it would be on me.
"Breastfeeding was incredibly painful, but I knew I wanted to do it."
Breastfeeding was so hard for me for about three months. Luckily my mom lived in our same city and she'd nursed all seven of her kids. She kept telling me how much she loved nursing and that's what she missed the most about having babies and that it was so relaxing. Breastfeeding was incredibly painful, so I put a big black "X" on our calendar. I was like, "If it still hurts by this day, that's the day I'm stopping." But it got easier and easier -- or maybe I got tougher and tougher. I'm still nursing him, and it's been about a year.
"You have to share in these things."
We always had family around, and I wasn't shy about calling my sister-in-law if I needed help or I had a question with something. Advice from other women was always really important to me, not because I couldn't have gotten by without it, but just because a lot of experiences are the same, and it's just nice to share common things. It's definitely reassuring.
"It helped to get some perspective from my mom."
My mom has seen all of her kids from babyhood to adulthood. When I would complain about it all, about how I was so tired, like "He had to sleep with us all night long and I couldn't even put him back in his crib," she would say, "Oh, I miss the days when I could sleep with my baby in the bed." Having a new baby was a golden time for her, and being able to have that perspective really did help me think, "Yeah, this is gonna be just a short little time in our family." That's good to be reminded every once in a while.
"Motherhood rocked my world."
It was a really difficult period of adjustment for me, but now I see everything through his experience, and it's made life so much richer in so many ways. I mean, last Christmas felt like my first Christmas as well as his, just realizing it's his first time seeing snow. This summer is the first time he's played in the sprinklers. You see things that are normal or predictable for you with a fresh set of eyes.
