When Kate started a family seven years ago, a good friend gave her a piece of advice that she's turned into a parenting philosophy.
Kate's Story
"Becoming a mother is an amazingly wonderful experience. It is indescribable."
Everyone goes through their own emotions when they have a baby, but for me, it was just fulfillment and joy. It can be overwhelming because you think, "I am in charge of this and what if I screw it up?" Overcoming that self doubt was the biggest challenge for me. I think a lot of mothers go through that, "I work too much, I don't do this enough or that enough." But life is not all playing at the playground and sitting on the floor with building blocks. There are other things in life like cooking dinner, going to the grocery store, working, things that take away from the child and make you wonder if you aren't giving them enough of your time. Accepting all the parts of life, including the chores, and acknowledging that you are doing the right thing and that everything is going to be okay is very freeing. Looking at your child and seeing how incredible they are lets you know you are doing a good job.
"They will let you know when they need something."
We have learned to just relax and go with the flow. Don't always anticipate what your kids need because they will let you know. Some people get really worked up about if they are hungry or tired and they freak themselves out all day. The kid will tell you when it is hungry or tired or what it wants to play with or when it wants to play.
"Remember, you were here first."
A good friend told me once before Madeleine was born, "Remember you were here first." We have lived by that, and we have happy, well adjusted children because of that. We didn't tip toe around the baby or readjust our life terribly. You can freak out when you have a new baby at home and all of a sudden shut down. We have had friends who do that, and then they get themselves caught in a trap and never get to leave the house. They live around this being, and the being gets frustrated because the parents are frustrated, and then it snowballs. By adapting our children to our lives, we're all happier and better adjusted. Madeleine travels the world -- she can go anywhere -- and our 10-month-old son is the same way.
"Go with an open mind and be ready."
Our daughter is who she is today because of the exposure she's had through traveling. She has seen so much and remembers a lot, and what she doesn't remember we can show her in pictures. We have taken her to the mountains in Guatemala and we have been to all-inclusive resorts, and it is the same thing -- you have to be realistic about what your child can do. If you need to cut something short, then you cut it short. Seeing other parts of the world is so important in shaping who they are, especially since our world today is really so small.
We went to Latin America when Madeleine was three-and-a-half, and we took a bunch of food with us to give to the children. Then, when we were going to go to Paris a few years ago, she said, "We have to remember to pack food for the poor people." I said, "Honey we are going to be the poor people. It is Paris." It's great that she has so much perspective.
