Almost every day, at least one of my patients reports something like, "My wife (or husband) says I need to get my hearing checked." If this describes you, there are some simple ways to determine if you really have a hearing problem.

While it is true that our hearing tends to diminish as we grow older, the good (and bad) news is that part of the problem is the way that spouses communicate with each other. When we become very comfortable with someone—especially our life partner—we tend to take that person for granted. This can result in some laziness while talking to each other, such as not making the effort to be in the same room and looking directly at your conversation partner.

It is always easier to hear and understand words that are spoken near us and aimed in our direction. In addition, our brains subconsciously process lip motion and facial expression together with the sounds we hear, and that can go a long way toward improving the ability to follow a conversation, whether or not there is any problem with actual hearing.

Another relationship problem is that we sometimes don't speak as clearly or loudly and don't listen as carefully to our spouses as we do with other people. Many times, the person accused of having poor hearing just takes an extra second or 2 to process what was said. That delay may cause the speaker to become frustrated (especially if there is already some concern about a hearing problem), or the listener may reflexively say "what?" just before the words really sink in.

Neither spouse is entirely to blame and both share the responsibility for recognizing and correcting these challenges to communication.

Rather than fretting that your spouse wants you to get a hearing aid, you might better ask yourself, "Am I having trouble understanding other people and, if so, how much of a problem is it causing me?"

I'll write about other ways to evaluate your hearing in my next post.