16. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Jan 23, 2009, 9:05 am PST

My mom just passed Jan 4th, I have been her care giver since my dad passed in 2004. He died of emphazima, she died of 4th stage breast cancer complicated by renal failure. Your article does not emphasize enough the need for an advanced directive to be with the care giver at all times. An advanced directive/DNR/medical power of attorney can be done easily and quickly. Unless the elderly person has it near or the caregiver has it near, emergency personal (fire men, hospital nurses, etc) will assume the patient wants treatment and thier wishes will be ignored if they can not communicate them. I would also very much encourage that a family member attend all doctor appointments and keep track of the status of medical condition. The trauma an elderly person endures just in getting to the doctor sometimes is enough to make the information given and recieved meaningless. Things are forgotten, discounted or just not discussed for the patients. Dosages, appointments, prognosis are just a blur for some elderly and the doctors have little time to make sure that the information is well recieved. Last but not least, as a care giver dont blame yourself, you are doing the best you can do. As an elderly person, remember that everyone is trying to help you and it is a blessing to them if you allow it.

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17. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Jan 23, 2009, 9:15 am PST

Someone save all of us taking care of our seniors. They are like kids with car keys and credit cards, both of which they lose. They don't want an agency taking care of them, or to go to a senior home...they would rather die. And 9 out of 10 of them are depressed. If I hear."Oh just shoot me" one more time! They do go to the doctors or usually need to be taken to...the dermatologist, dentist, uroligist, wound doctor, cardiologist, internal medicine, etc. They can't hear or see...it's usually one or the other and the knees and hips are shot. No wonder they are depressed. But they won't take the "happy pills". They want to be picked up and served dinner by 6 o'clock...I don't even get home from work by then. But if they don't eat then, their diabetes will act up. I have 87 yo Mother, 86 yo Mom in law, and 3 aunts...80, 86 and 92. And I feel like I am 110.

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18. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Jan 23, 2009, 9:41 am PST

close gitmo???? i spell obama STUPID

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19. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Jan 23, 2009, 10:04 am PST

Don't forget that your parents were very independent at one time. Don't treat them like children. Give them responsibilites if you can, but don't make demands. Ask them if they would'nt mind doing the laundry or cooking. Let them make decisions....help them if necessary make decisions. I joined the YMCA with my mother to help her to become active. She walks, socializes and works out on some of the exercise equipment. Remember, that if we live long enough, we are going to become senior citizens. Treat them the way that you hope you will be treated when you get older (and you will be older one day)

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20. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Jan 23, 2009, 10:22 am PST

My biggest fustration is sharing the responsibility with my 5 siblings. Seams like I take on most of the responsibilities and when I can't be there for my dad (74 with cirrhosis) it's a burden for any of the others 'kids' to take over. We all have families and other responsibilities, but I think they don't like to deal with the fact that Dad is sick. When I try to a talk about it, they get defensive and claim they are too busy but I'm just as if not busier. Another one of their excuses is that they don't undertand all the medical terms, but I'm not in the medical field and when I don't understand I just ask more questions or look it up online. Any suggestions from any who is having the same issues with their siblings?

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21. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Jan 23, 2009, 10:34 am PST

I have found myself in the position of taking care of my parents. They live in their own home, as do I. However between my sister and me we are at their home five days a week. Mother was hospitalized, she was there for 4 months and nearly every medical type person did not expect her to survive. Frankly neither did I. I did however, look into what medications she was on. I was shocked when I found out she was on 30 different medications and vitamins. I Researched the side effect of all of them. Found that many of the side effects of the medications would cause the symptoms she was exhibiting. She had a new doctor on the case, and we requested a consultation with him. Bless his heart he saw the problem, and has taken her off all but 6 medications, and 5 vitamins. She was able to come home from the hospital, and is doing as well as can be expected. She is still suffering from the underlying diseases which called for the medications in the first place, and is fragile. But she is home, and lucid, and able to live her life. Please everyone who is taking care of an elderly person. Check their medications, find out what the side effects are, and keep in close contact with their doctors. With Mother, her dementia, was caused by over medication.

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22. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Jan 23, 2009, 10:53 am PST

The best decsions include the patient. I am 76 years old and feel I am competent to be included in the process of what's best for me. I have recently made up my mind not to have anymore mammograns. I have been faithfully having them but I don't see the point any more.

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23. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Sun, Feb 01, 2009, 3:20 pm PST

I have been in the position of taking care of my elderly parents who had numerous problems, but with the help of social workers, elder care and finally hiring girls with some medical background to come every day, we made it through the dark days when they were so sick that they wondered why they were still having to live. Thankfully, my parents had enough savings to take care of some of these expenses. However, having one brother who lives hours away and has a very stressful occupation, and I live two blocks from where they lived, I was able to monitor what was going on, as well as doing some cooking, some yardwork, grocery shopping, washing, etc. - including my own - and after they died, not far apart, I went into depression myself, and have been on meds ever since. Now, the depression is chronic. I also have a disabled daughter suffering from mental problems and on disability, living alone. She was living here and going through both physical and emotional pain. My husband was having heart problems. This time was a "down" time, but it doesn't last forever. But it seems that way at the time. Get counselling offered by hospice after your work is over. When one has a few years between the children's graduation from HS and college and you are free, do as many things you can to enjoy all of your life, for life is like a washboard road - up, down, and back again. Grasp every good moment you can, and laugh a lot. My husband and I took several overseas trips after their deaths, and they brought me much pleasure and healing. Parents do put one on guilt trips. Thankfully they had to be in a nursing home only a few weeks just before death. But there is guilt for 'not doing all you could have', telling them what to do, taking car keys away, dealing with spinal stenosis and near blindness, some medicine induced dementia, their hatred of having 'strangers' in their home, giving them their meds because they forget,etc. Life for all of us was spent in drs. offices. Take all the help you can get, and get some rest yourself, and don't end up like I did. Go ahead and spend their money for help in spite of their objections. Being older yourself,( I was in mid-sixties when necessary care began, and it lasted for several years.) If you are a strong person, you can do this. If you are not, God bless you for doing all that you can do! And remember that it takes perhaps a couple of years to get to the stage when you can forget the bad times and laugh at the funny times, the good times you had when your parents were alive.

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24. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Sun, May 10, 2009, 6:08 pm PDT

This article could have been written by an android. Referring us to goverment websites for advice? Is this what medicine has come to?

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25. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Sun, May 10, 2009, 6:12 pm PDT

Also, lets consider that maybe the elderly are so "difficult" nowdays because they are sick and do not feel well, yet get treated like a burden by their children or get to die of nursing home related neglect! Also - doctors used to make house calls! Health care is run like a beurocracy (or rather idiocracy) nowdays.

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