As Father's Day approaches, I am reminded that I have a terrific dad but also that it is sometimes difficult for men of his generation to express themselves and say what they really feel. I have been working on a project with guys who are new fathers and have been hearing from them all the things they would like to communicate to their children one day. So, in honor of Father's Day, here is a list of important things, told to me by dads and taken from my own experience, which could enrich the relationship between father and child.
"Here Is What We Did When You Were Little..."
Children remember the big events where their fathers were present - graduations, weddings, sporting events. But what about those sweet memories fathers have of when their kids were infants. A father recently told me about the experience of feeding his 7-month old and having to use two spoons - one for his daughter to grab and the other to actually get some food in her mouth. She will likely never remember that experience. What a wonderful thing for her father to tell her when she is older.
"Here Is What I Want for You..."
Whenever my dad would try to give me some guidance, I would hear it as criticism. I wish he had been able to tell me the kind of life he wanted for me because I know now that he only wanted me to be happy. Perhaps if fathers could tell kids their dreams rather than their disappointments, there would be more communication.
"Here Are The Mistakes I Made When I Was A Kid..."
I think we all make similar mistakes when we are young, driven by a potent blend of self-obsession, rebellion, and indestructibility. I wish that, as I was growing up, I could have known the mistakes my father made and, in that, avoided some of my own.
"I Love You"
Of all the words that can be said by a father, these are the most important for a child to hear. Although I think more and more men are comfortable saying these simple words, I know a few guys who have told me that they still can't tell their children the simple fact of their love. I am happy to say that my dad and I tell each other, "I love you," all the time. Those words are endlessly healing and reassuring.
Not being a father, I have so much respect for those men who take on such a complicated and rewarding task. For all you dads, I hope you will give yourself the gift of letting your child know more about you and how you feel.
The Principles
by Patrick Moore
Available now on Lulu.com, Amazon.Com, and BarnesandNoble.com.
"Here Is What We Did When You Were Little..."
Children remember the big events where their fathers were present - graduations, weddings, sporting events. But what about those sweet memories fathers have of when their kids were infants. A father recently told me about the experience of feeding his 7-month old and having to use two spoons - one for his daughter to grab and the other to actually get some food in her mouth. She will likely never remember that experience. What a wonderful thing for her father to tell her when she is older.
"Here Is What I Want for You..."
Whenever my dad would try to give me some guidance, I would hear it as criticism. I wish he had been able to tell me the kind of life he wanted for me because I know now that he only wanted me to be happy. Perhaps if fathers could tell kids their dreams rather than their disappointments, there would be more communication.
"Here Are The Mistakes I Made When I Was A Kid..."
I think we all make similar mistakes when we are young, driven by a potent blend of self-obsession, rebellion, and indestructibility. I wish that, as I was growing up, I could have known the mistakes my father made and, in that, avoided some of my own.
"I Love You"
Of all the words that can be said by a father, these are the most important for a child to hear. Although I think more and more men are comfortable saying these simple words, I know a few guys who have told me that they still can't tell their children the simple fact of their love. I am happy to say that my dad and I tell each other, "I love you," all the time. Those words are endlessly healing and reassuring.
Not being a father, I have so much respect for those men who take on such a complicated and rewarding task. For all you dads, I hope you will give yourself the gift of letting your child know more about you and how you feel.
The Principles
by Patrick Moore
Available now on Lulu.com, Amazon.Com, and BarnesandNoble.com.
2007 Patrick Moore
. All Rights Reserved.
