One of the qualities I admire most in people who live their lives by The Principles is that they tend to be emotionally honest. Unconstrained by trying to play the big shot and with a clear sense of who they are, these people are not afraid to show their feelings.
But many men are still uncomfortable showing their emotions openly. Hence, we still face the question, "Do Real Men Cry?" My answer, based on my experience, is, "Absolutely." I'm not much in the machismo department but I have a number of buddies who are big bruisers and I've seen them regularly shed a tear. Sometimes it embarrasses them but, mostly, they seem to recognize the tears as a good thing.
And I don't mean to portray men who don't cry as somehow dishonest. My father, who I love and respect, almost never allows his emotions to show. I can recall him crying only twice in his life - when our beloved family dog died and when he scattered his mother's ashes. But I could tell you many times when I could tell he would liked to have cried and would not allow himself to do so. It made me sad to watch him keep the tears inside.
The extent to which men feel comfortable in showing their emotions is partly generational. Men my father's age and older were trained to be stoic, believing that somehow emotions were feminine. I think many of them paid a high price for this belief and I have heard older men talk, at the end their lives, about their regrets at not having told loved ones how they felt.
One could make the case that the more conservative and traditional a man is the less likely he is to cry and be openly emotional. But for those who look to religion and the Bible for guidance are given a wonderful role model for a man unafraid to cry - Jesus. The Bible tells us that, when Jesus heard of the death of his friend Lazarus, he wept with sorrow. Even with his faith that his friend could be reborn, Christ felt able to share in the suffering of others and cry openly.
But, of course, we need to remember that tears are just as often in response to joy as well as sorrow. How wonderful to see a man who is brought to tears by the success of a loved one. How inspiring to see a man cry when reunited with his spouse or family. These are tears that should never bring shame.
So my vote is for real men to open up and have a good cry when they feel the need. That level of self-confidence and honesty is the best testament to masculinity.
When do you guys cry? How does it make you feel? And for women...does it make you uncomfortable when men cry?
The Principles
by Patrick Moore
Available now on Lulu.com, Amazon.Com, and BarnesandNoble.com.
But many men are still uncomfortable showing their emotions openly. Hence, we still face the question, "Do Real Men Cry?" My answer, based on my experience, is, "Absolutely." I'm not much in the machismo department but I have a number of buddies who are big bruisers and I've seen them regularly shed a tear. Sometimes it embarrasses them but, mostly, they seem to recognize the tears as a good thing.
And I don't mean to portray men who don't cry as somehow dishonest. My father, who I love and respect, almost never allows his emotions to show. I can recall him crying only twice in his life - when our beloved family dog died and when he scattered his mother's ashes. But I could tell you many times when I could tell he would liked to have cried and would not allow himself to do so. It made me sad to watch him keep the tears inside.
The extent to which men feel comfortable in showing their emotions is partly generational. Men my father's age and older were trained to be stoic, believing that somehow emotions were feminine. I think many of them paid a high price for this belief and I have heard older men talk, at the end their lives, about their regrets at not having told loved ones how they felt.
One could make the case that the more conservative and traditional a man is the less likely he is to cry and be openly emotional. But for those who look to religion and the Bible for guidance are given a wonderful role model for a man unafraid to cry - Jesus. The Bible tells us that, when Jesus heard of the death of his friend Lazarus, he wept with sorrow. Even with his faith that his friend could be reborn, Christ felt able to share in the suffering of others and cry openly.
But, of course, we need to remember that tears are just as often in response to joy as well as sorrow. How wonderful to see a man who is brought to tears by the success of a loved one. How inspiring to see a man cry when reunited with his spouse or family. These are tears that should never bring shame.
So my vote is for real men to open up and have a good cry when they feel the need. That level of self-confidence and honesty is the best testament to masculinity.
When do you guys cry? How does it make you feel? And for women...does it make you uncomfortable when men cry?
The Principles
by Patrick Moore
Available now on Lulu.com, Amazon.Com, and BarnesandNoble.com.
2007 Patrick Moore
. All Rights Reserved.
