1. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Thu, Jun 12, 2008, 2:58 pm PDT

trip out that reminds me of what i do with my boyfriend everytime we argue i end up in tears and nothing ever gets resolved wow i can so relate

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2. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Thu, Jun 12, 2008, 7:47 pm PDT

Its hard to stop playing a role when your patrtner is addicted to the drama. It takes alot of awareness not to fall into our partner's unconscience role-play.

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3. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Thu, Jun 12, 2008, 9:54 pm PDT

the way this article is written has it sounding like the part of "victim" is usually filled by a woman. watch that, please. in my personal experience, im the one playing "hero" and my exes have been the melodramatic, needy "victims". no worries tho, i've ceased that type of role playing ages ago.

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4. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Jun 13, 2008, 4:18 pm PDT

I agree with #2. This is very true. The victim is stuck and even though they don't know it ( and would never admit it ) they like being the victim !!! They stay stuck in that role because they get something out of it. They also unconsciously attract people or situations that keep them stuck in victim mode. Who wants constant drama in a partner? Homey don't play that !!!! LOL !!!

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5. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Jun 13, 2008, 9:42 pm PDT

Our roles are usually learned from our family of origin. Often in times of stress, when its harder to remain present in the moment, we revert to learned family patterns. TOA often refers to the anima and the animas {sp?}. In both my marriages , from time to time my husbands have treated me the way their fathers treat their mothers. While it was a shock to my system, my husband was completely unaware of the role he was playing and casting me into. Usually saying " I'm not your mother and you are not your father", snaps him out of it.

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6. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Jun 13, 2008, 9:50 pm PDT

When I was much younger, I had more than relationship where refusing to play the victim, escalated into threats of physical violence towards me. Of course, I quickly ended the relationships. But be aware, abusive relationships are addictive relations. The roles will switch, where the abuser becomes the "victim", just to keep the drama and the addiction going.

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7. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Jun 13, 2008, 9:59 pm PDT

Also, be aware, of being the third player in the victim-abuser-rescuer drama. Because of the addictive cycle, the roles will switch up and the victim and abuser will treat you, like the abuser and then you end up being the victim. If you know someone who is being abused you may help them leave ONCE. After that, give them the number to the women's shelter or call the rescue squad or the police for them. In other words, don't be an enabler, by repeatedly running to the rescue of a victim, who repeatedly runs back to the abuser. Direct them to trained professionals in cases of abuse.

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8. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Sat, Jun 14, 2008, 4:25 pm PDT

what time is the cubs game on??? anyone

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9. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Sat, Jun 21, 2008, 1:39 pm PDT

It would have been nice if you alternated the gender of your pronouns back and forth when describing the partner playing the victim. When I read "pouting, sulking, refusing to take responsability for actions, or make decisions" you described my former husband to a T. It's not just women who revel in the victim role.

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10. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Jun 23, 2008, 12:09 pm PDT

it was very good thank u

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11. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Jun 24, 2008, 11:07 pm PDT

A lot of you are missing the point of this article. It isn't about victims of physical and emotional abuse. It is about people PLAYING the victim in a relationship to manipulate a desired favorable response. It is a good article pointing out that this behavior is ultimately self-defeating. We should all be genuine and truthful to our partners.

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12. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Jun 24, 2008, 11:20 pm PDT

I agree with Barbie, the way this article makes it seem like the woman is always the one playing the victim. As a matter of fact, it seems like all the stuff I read tend to make the woman seem like the bad guy, the one that needs to change, the one that turns the man away, etc. my boyfriend reads into these things so much and sends me these articles. i really think he thinks i'm always the one who needs to make the change. i would like to point out that most of the time it is the guy who triggers the woman to act the way they do. what about articles on how men need to change to please the woman???

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13. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Jun 25, 2008, 11:26 am PDT

This is a chick article, males not aloud to voice there opinion, i posted last night 3 times , and my post have been erased, all well, i new this was a chick flick , if you get my drift.

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14. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Jun 25, 2008, 3:08 pm PDT

Got your message , zlim44 and yes this is deliberatively aim at women; women if your reading, men don't want relationships anymore, they get more out of it if they stay single and bang young hot chicks. By the time you reach 28yrs your expiration day is almost up, so what do successful men do, bang the next crop of hot naive young chicks. and for dose who find love kudos, but for the rest of us lets just keep having fun.

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15. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Jun 25, 2008, 8:39 pm PDT

THAT IS TRUE...MEN DO THE SAME THEY CAN BE DRAMATIC AS WELL

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