How to Get Past an Affair By Dr. Laura Berman - Posted Wed, Mar 12, 2008, 12:53 pm PDT

1. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Mar 12, 2008, 1:48 pm PDT

Is it an affair or infidelity if the person you are having the relationship with not married but only has a girlfriend?

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2. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Mar 12, 2008, 3:28 pm PDT

1 vicky - "only has a girlfriend"? infidelity/cheating means that someone who is in a relationship (has a girlfriend) is having a relationship with someone else on the side (you). Put it this way, do you know the girlfriend, and does she know about you having a relationship with her boyfriend? If yes, and she's OK with that, then it's not cheating. If no, then it's cheating. Why don't you ask her what SHE thinks?

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3. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Mar 12, 2008, 4:11 pm PDT

I lovd my husband and I don't know if he is cheating on me or not!All I know is that after almost a year , I still do not have a wedding ring on my finger and it hurts me so much!!!!

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4. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Mar 12, 2008, 6:38 pm PDT

Sounds worth a try!!From one who's been there done that1!!Jeannie

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5. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Mar 12, 2008, 6:39 pm PDT

Give it a chance!!! Jeannie

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6. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Mar 12, 2008, 6:39 pm PDT

Give it a chance!!! Jeannie

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7. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Mar 12, 2008, 8:13 pm PDT

yes... this is very useful...thanks...i enjoyed reading it... mymy

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8. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Thu, Mar 13, 2008, 6:18 am PDT

cantrellmary16- You not having a wedding ring should not hurt you as much as you say it does. I dont know how old you are but you have been with this man for a year. I have been with my fiance for 6 years and we still arent ready to get married. It takes time. As far as the article...it was helpful I guess if you are one of those people that lworked on live your life by what you read in a Cosmo Mag. I have been in that situation and being that one that got cheated on is not so calm and cool as the article makes it seem. The trust is not something that is just going to pop right back and it has to be worked on constantly. If the nightmares and thoughts consume you more than anything else, then there is no working it out. YOU NEED TO LEAVE!!!

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9. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Thu, Mar 13, 2008, 7:36 am PDT

This situation was very close to my experience. However, my approach was different and very affective. I examined myself and our lifestyle. I found that my marriage was too liberal. Being a cool wife doesn't mean that you allow your hubby to walk all over you. Even over doing it can smuther anyone. There are no books for being the perfect wife. Just remember, In his eyes, he married you because you are perfect for him. Don't change after being married. Suzie Home Maker is an image of someones mother.

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10. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Thu, Mar 13, 2008, 7:39 am PDT

This situation was very close to my experience. However, my approach was different and very affective. I examined myself and our lifestyle. I found that my marriage was too liberal. Being a cool wife doesn't mean that you allow your hubby to walk all over you. Even over doing it can smuther anyone. There are no books for being the perfect wife. Just remember, In his eyes, he married you because you are perfect for him. Don't change after being married. Suzie Home Maker is an image of someones mother.

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11. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Thu, Mar 13, 2008, 7:52 am PDT

is it cheating when your husband flirts so much with young women....though he never had any serious relationships with any of them? and i just knew evrytime he flirts and how he would spend time and even money with these (group of) girls...

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12. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Thu, Mar 13, 2008, 7:53 am PDT

If you are willing to stay (I'll say for one last chance), while impossible to force your mate to act and believe the way he/she is supposed to, you have COMPLETE control over your own decisions. If married, remember your vows. "For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, forsaking alllllll others until death do us part." Keep YOUR vows. Be happy. It will be seen and noticed. Should his/her infatuation win out, well, at least now you know and you can hold your head high knowing that you have kept YOUR promise. If he/she wanders off into the sun-set of fantasy land, well now you can thank your lucky stars that YOU are still a good person who did your best, and hold NO shame. NONE of this is your fault. Hindsight is WONDERFUL (would have, could have, should have), but you were not the one who "fell." Carry the lesson and apply it to your own future (with him/her or some one else) and you will be an even greater lover, wife, friend, companion, mother/father etc... and you will have your painful new wisdom to thank for it. You have paid dearly for this life lesson, be greatful (yes grateful sp? lol) for this wisdom and strength. Ultimitately, it will pay YOU dividends! And so in this way, you cannot lose :)

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13. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Thu, Mar 13, 2008, 8:01 am PDT

My sons father cheated on me numerous times in a four year span and everytime I ended up forgiving him except the last time, it was like a switch flipped in my brain. Ever since then I hate him. I know hate is a strong word but when Im around him it's like every little thing he does irritates me and I start being a SUPER B**** toward him. So I guess what I'm saying is a person can only deal with it for so long.

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14. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Thu, Mar 13, 2008, 8:04 am PDT

This was a very good & very helpful article. It gave some good, positive ways to work through a serious issue as cheating. It's concerning when so many people are cheating... I see it in the news every day and around me. Unfortunately, it seems to be acceptable to do such if someone isn't happy. My feeling is WORK on Yourself and Your Relationship before going elsewhere. There's too much of a "disposable" attitude with everything in this world. It's too bad... :-(

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15. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Thu, Mar 13, 2008, 9:56 am PDT

I cheat. I just do.

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