16. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Thu, Mar 13, 2008, 9:57 am PDT

wanna cheat with me?

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17. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Thu, Mar 13, 2008, 10:35 am PDT

Having experienced my husband having an emotional affair with a coworker of his, I must disagree about the "gory" details statement. I wish that he would divulge all the details instead of me trying to figure out what happened in bits and pieces. His memory seems to fail him alot. So I am still left with many questions and rebuilding trust is just taking that much longer for us. Imaging what happened has been worse that knowing everything.

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18. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Thu, Mar 13, 2008, 1:21 pm PDT

Thank you Toochmerli - you are right on the money. Yes you only have control over your own actions. Take any situation and be the better person if "he / she" believes the marriage is worth it things will change, if not, move on and learn from the experience so you do not find yourself there again. It is also important to forgive - but you do not need to forget.

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19. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Thu, Mar 13, 2008, 2:23 pm PDT

Important topic. One of the greatest problems we have as a culture is creating a safe environment for honest communications. Most of the time it is simply not safe to tell the truth, or share the truth of where we really are at. Somewhere along the line we have bought into a concept of "ownership" of each other as human beings. Humans are naturally and normally gregarious - which with all the rules and thou shalt nots wrapped up around victim consciousness if we cannot control each other - this invites disaster & heart ache. I believe fidelity is the net end result of a positive long term relationship. It happens naturally as love, respect, bonding and appreciation deepen. When it's "forced", that creates a desire to go and rebel. Always has, always will. Want to diffuse the energy of attraction - have a relationship where it is safe to talk about what is really going on in your head, when you see someone you want to "explore" talk about it with your partner, have fun with it - you may be surprised at how fidelity follow authentic communications. It's a P.O.T.U. - perspective :)

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20. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Thu, Mar 13, 2008, 4:00 pm PDT

B.S. Tigers do not change their stripes. I have been there!

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21. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Thu, Mar 13, 2008, 6:56 pm PDT

Cheating will go on as long as we continues to foster the instant gratification attitude, keep beauty and sexual gratification standards at ridiculously high levels, and minimize working on relationships for the long-haul. Let's face it, our culture today is one of spoiled, self-absorbed kids without the patience or discipline to work hard or delay gratification. If we are constantly striving for a faster and flashier car, bigger and better entertainment system, sexier and more fashionable style, why not the thrill and zing of a new sexual partner when your "old" one gets "out-dated"?

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22. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Thu, Mar 13, 2008, 7:00 pm PDT

what if your husband cheated with a guy?

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23. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Thu, Mar 13, 2008, 7:02 pm PDT

You cannot get past indiscretion if the other individual is not admitting committing any wrong doings. You must let go, because if you don't you lose a significant part of who you are. That in itself is a difficult thing to get back. Move on to find yourself again and regain the confidence that you lost and become happy again.

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24. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Thu, Mar 13, 2008, 8:45 pm PDT

Easy to understand but very hard to do,, but very informative,, hope to help those who are into this kind of situation..

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25. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Mar 14, 2008, 5:10 am PDT

I think this is excellent article, what is publised is the basic truth, infidelity occurs due to distacing between partners and a poor physical relationship wich causes people tend to seek other ways for fullfilling there desires

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26. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Mar 14, 2008, 7:45 am PDT

What a simplistic point of view to a very complex problem. There is no "happily ever after"and it offends me that you used that at the end of the article. This is what gets couples into trouble in the first place, especially women. They believe that Cinderella story and then are left hugely disillusioned when the fairy tale turns sour. No one else is responsible for your happiness. The most important relationship a person can have is the one to themselves. Once that is right, you won't attract a person who will betray you. If they do betray you, you won't tolerate it and will move on because your principal relationship to you can't be shaken. To compromise and take a spouse back is to compromise your very soul for the convenience and security of having someone in your life. That is always the wrong reason to stay together and ultimately never works.

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27. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Mar 14, 2008, 7:54 am PDT

In this day and age it is sure nice to have places like this to go to for advise and/or info. on the things that are going-on in most peoples everyday lives. Thanks to all of you for taking the time to share with all of " US " out here.

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28. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Mar 14, 2008, 8:56 am PDT

yes it is helpful. based on my experience i kept quiet while my husband is having an affair. i assessed myself why he cheated on me after 14 years of marriage, i was huge at that time because i gave birth in two succeeding years.He confessed of his affairs before the girl's boyfriend will send me some evidence of his affairs although as a wife i knew it.I nearly shot myself because i can not accept the truth, i know it hurts but i was more hurt,hearing it,coming from his own mouth.i did not talk to him like i was before,a question from him has an equally one one answer from me,then silence, for a long time i was like that,but i continually do my duty as a wife.Having sex became difficult for me.bad things were registering to my mind like i was a paranoid like if he kiss her like he kisses me,does she do things like i do or how do they do it and so on ..i cried one time while having sex with him,i honestly know i don't forgive him fully.He felt it,so he was the one mending and worked on our marriage working double time to show to me he was sorry and so guilty and he will never do it again.Sometimes being silent is more effective than nagging.My husband is continuing to fix the trust and respect he lost.Ii am still healing the wounds but because there is still a little love remaining, i am giving him another chance,it happened in 2006 and iam on the road to recovery.

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29. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Mar 14, 2008, 9:01 am PDT

Ten minutes of venting daily is not enough. You can be sure they cheated on you more than 10 minutes a day -- so where's the parity in that suggestion? And yes, sometimes the person who has the affair needs to feel "special", but sometimes they can have a healthy and stimulating relationship, and still feel good about having affairs. That is their issue, and not the wronged. In that case I say, run, as fast as you can. There is nothing wrong with you, and your-soon-to-be-ex can be someone else's problem.

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30. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Mar 14, 2008, 9:02 am PDT

yes it is helpful. based on my experience i kept quiet while my husband is having an affair. i assessed myself why he cheated on me after 14 years of marriage, i was huge at that time because i gave birth in two succeeding years.He confessed of his affairs before the girl's boyfriend will send me some evidence of his affairs although as a wife i knew it.I nearly shot myself because i can not accept the truth, i know it hurts but i was more hurt,hearing it,coming from his own mouth.i did not talk to him like i was before,a question from him has an equally one one answer from me,then silence, for a long time i was like that,but i continually do my duty as a wife.Having sex became difficult for me.bad things were registering to my mind like i was a paranoid like if he kiss her like he kisses me,does she do things like i do or how do they do it and so on ..i cried one time while having sex with him,i honestly know i don't forgive him fully.He felt it,so he was the one mending and worked on our marriage working double time to show to me he was sorry and so guilty and he will never do it again.Sometimes being silent is more effective than nagging.My husband is continuing to fix the trust and respect he lost.Ii am still healing the wounds but because there is still a little love remaining, i am giving him another chance,it happened in 2006 when i was 180lbs.now i am 129lbs and iam on the road to recovery.

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