Rediscover the snuggle. When you first started dating, you probably could not get enough of your partner. You wanted to kiss, cuddle and cover her with affection every moment of the day. Unfortunately, those little snuggles and oh-so-important touches tend to decline in long-term relationships.
If you want to bring back romance, try bringing back that innocent and important affection. Researchers know that touch is absolutely crucial in infant and early child development (it has been found that babies who receive limited touch develop smaller brains than babies who receive plenty of touch), and touch plays an equally important role in keeping you connected and close with your partner. So play with her hair, hold her when she comes home from work, kiss her on the forehead, and rediscover the art of the snuggle.
Change your tone of voice. Every couple fights, but it is how you fight that determines whether or not your relationship will prevail. Couples who fight with accusatory words, generalizations, the silent treatment, insults, sarcasm, and eye rolling will find that their arguments never truly get resolved, and the hurt feelings prevail long after the issue has been swept under the rug.
Try a different tactic: Instead of immediately jumping to the point of the argument where you try to convince or berate your partner into agreeing that you are right, simply state your case and explain your feelings. Then, sit back and give your partner the freedom to do the same. Ask yourself, "Do I want to be right, or do I want to have love in my life?" Chances are being right won't seem that important to you any more.
Remember her favorite things. When you are in love, the little things go a long way. While a little blue Tiffany's box might bring a smile to her face, nothing warms her heart more than you drawing her a hot bath after a long day, or making her a nice dinner, or warming up the car for her in the morning. Tiny touches like this remind her that she is loved and cared for, and they cannot be replaced by all the chocolate hearts in the world.
Reconnect daily. Between work and kids, it seems like couples only get a chance to see each other as they run out the door in the morning. While most of us try to connect with our partners through scheduled date nights, our relationships need more than this weekly dose of love. Take a little time to talk with your partner and reconnect -- no discussions of errands or kids allowed. Devote this time to grown-up talk, and continue to cultivate your relationship outside of parenting and family roles. There are actual people under those Mom and Dad hats -- so hang them up for the night and reconnect with your partner as an individual.
No matter where you are in your relationship -- just dating, recently married, co-habitating, or long-term couple -- remember the saying, "There is no cure for love but to love more." Give all the love in your heart to your partner this Valentine's Day. (But if you insist upon buying her the Tiffany's jewelry as well, I am sure that she will be happy to accept!)
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