Holidays and the in-laws: For many couples, they go together about as well as oil and water; however, family ties are an important part of keeping everyone happy and your relationship with your spouse harmonious. Here are some ideas for staying connected in the midst of in-law and/or family madness:

1. Work out your expectations before the holidays get too close. This means now! State your wishes for how you would like to spend your time and have a sit-down discussion with your spouse if you feel like your in-laws run your holiday schedule every year. If tradition trumps what you would really like to be doing, put limits on your "duty" time during the holidays. Go to your in-laws for Christmas Day, but have an exit plan for a specific hour. If family normally comes into town and stays with you, carve out some time to yourselves. You can be a good host without entertaining them 24/7.
   
   
2. Make your spouse and your kids your priority. The quality time you have over a holiday break is precious. Don't feel bad about putting your nuclear family first. Take the kids ice-skating one day. Stay up all night wrapping presents with your hubby. Create some of your own family rituals, if you haven't already, in addition to following the traditions of the past. The holidays remind us how fast time goes-make the most of it.
   
   
3. Keep it sexy with your spouse. The holidays can bulldoze over your regular routine, so make sure you're staying connected. Some couples find that all of the holiday spirit and changing up the regular routine spills over into the bedroom. When you're running to parties, trying to get that shopping done, baking and cooking, sex might become more spontaneous (not to mention, as a result of the effects of too much hot rum cider). If you find the holiday spirit isn't so invigorating for your sex life, make sure sex is on your list at least once a week!
   
   
4. Buy your partner a special something that isn't what they asked for and isn't simply functional. The ideas are endless: a couples massage, bath oil, a new "toy," a night at a favorite inn or hotel, lingerie, tickets to a play. Just don't stick to the same old gifts! Exchange your sexy gifts in private, with a glass of champagne after the kids have gone to bed.
   
   
5. Reminisce about holidays past with your spouse. It will give you a powerful sense of how far you've come, how much you've shared and how much more you have in front of you.

The holiday season is upon us!

 

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