This is a really difficult issue to talk about—but partner abuse is not rare. Abuse can be verbal, such as name-calling, devaluing opinions, or threatening violence; it can be controlling, such as preventing friendships, or demanding things done to earn love; or it can be physical. About one in twelve women experiences violence during pregnancy. If you are feeling controlled, at risk, or afraid, you are not alone. Domestic violence crosses all racial, ethnic, sexual orientation, and economic lines, and often escalates during pregnancy, putting the mother and baby in grave danger. A woman may find new strength to get help when she is pregnant, in order to protect her baby-to-be.

Are you at risk? Do you have a friend or relative who you think might be in danger?

Here are some questions to consider.

• Has anyone close to you ever threatened to hurt you?

• Has anyone close to you ever hit, kicked, choked or hurt you physically?

• Has anyone, including your partner, ever forced you to have sex?

• Are you ever afraid of your partner?

Just one yes answer puts you at risk.

Talk to your doctor, local women’s shelter or domestic violence support agency, or get more information from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence at www.ncadv.org or 1-800-799-SAFE. If you can’t talk privately during your prenatal appointments because your partner is there, it's OK to telephone your doctor or nurse to talk about the problem. Everyone deserves to be safe in her own home.