New research indicates that fertility patients who feel less stressed get pregnant more quickly. So what can you do to minimize stress, both because it may help you get pregnant and because it makes treatment more bearable?

• Think of your fertility treatment as a project. Map out a strategy with your partner and your fertility doctor, and stick to it. Decide in advance how many and what kind of procedures will be emotionally and financially acceptable, and attempt to determine a final limit. Try to get in a long-term mindset-hope to be pregnant within a year, rather than obsessing each day.
  
  
• Write down questions to bring to your doctor, so you don't forget to ask.
  
  
• Consider what you will do if you don't conceive. Having an alternative plan, such as adoption, not having children, or using donor eggs can minimize stress and anxiety.
  
  
• Consider taking a break every few months.
  
  
• Communicate with your partner, and expect your partner to have difficulties too. Don't expect him to always feel the same way that you do, though-different people respond differently to the strains of infertility.
  
  
• Fertility treatment can be hard on every aspect of a marriage. Try to do things together that are fun and unrelated to getting pregnant. Make a date to have sex for fun during "non-fertile" times of the cycle.
  
  
• Don't be surprised at your negative reaction when someone else becomes pregnant-even someone you love. It is hard to be happy for others while you are struggling to become a parent yourself.
  
  
• Expect to feel emotional during this process -- often a roller coaster of anxiety, excitement and frustration. Many modern women have never experienced this sort of loss of control over their lives-you have always been able to get what you wanted if you worked hard enough. Studies indicate that fertility treatment can be more stressful than cancer therapy-with similar feelings of anger, frustration, anxiety, grief, shame, damaged self-esteem, jealousy, isolation, and loss of control.
  
  
• Consider getting counseling, learning some relaxation techniques, or joining a support group. You may find yoga, meditation, guided imagery, reiki, massage therapy and/or exercise helpful. Resolve is one of several national organizations that provide information and support to families dealing with fertility issues. For more information try http://www.resolve.org/ or call 888-623-0744.