OK. so we had a fight, a very bad one & he moved out. neither of us were great at communicating. i think we've learned how after what happened. i just hope it's not too late.
it started out as a discussion & quickly became an argument, then things got heated & out of hand. emotions & anger & hurt. we're both pretty stubborn. then he got up to leave. and i didn't want him to. i was afraid he wouldn't come back. then something overcame me & i slapped him in the face. i honestly don't remember actually raising my hand up. it was kind of like i blacked out for a few seconds. he said it was over & he could never forgive me. i didn't mean to, i was just very upset & hurting very bad. i have never done anything like that before. i know i never will again. i will never let myself become that angry again. i will calm down first. i regret it very bad, i feel terrible. anyway, he ended up calling me about a week later, saying he wanted to talk about things, understand things, that he realized i wasn't the only one at fault. so he hasn't moved back in, we've been talking off & on since, calmly & rationally, unlike on the fight night. he asked for time, but he cant promise me he will come back. its very hard for me to be patient, because i'm scared he'll decide he can't come back. but i don't want to give up because i think we can work this out. i'm trying very hard to give him time & space, it's testing my patience big time, i'm not a patient person. but i want to be for him. he deserves it. he said i could call him, but i'm trying not to. it's really hard though when he doesn't call. i love talking to him. i'm just scared the next phone call will be him telling me he decided not to come back. at least i'll know i tried the best i know how. what's meant to be will be, right? i'm so scared i've lost him forever.....ugh. any advice would be helpful...??
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