16. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Feb 19, 2008, 9:41 am PST

yeah, & thats why i'm single right now!, & if she would have read this article or other similar, just might be together still working out differences! I was put on the spot "many" times with questions I had no time to think the answer...

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17. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Feb 19, 2008, 9:46 am PST

I'm surprised how many posts are against the idea of talking in a car. This actually is pretty sound advice backed by many reliable sources on the subject! However, as like with any other moment of communication, yes, consideration needs to be given also while in the car as to what the goal of the conversation is to be and how it is delivered and unfolded. If the goal is to just feel freedom to blurt out anything which you feel but will make the other mad, this of course will lead to dangerous situations. But like as with any convesation, if care is taken toward really developing something in a meaningful way, then it's an ideal setting. Perhaps don't try to 'solve' all aspects in the one sitting, but rather just agree that there are issues that need to be addressed and bought into for a designated future conversation. As for right after sex, that one is probably not as good of a suggestion. That's when most men want to space out and/or fall asleep. Naked is good as this underscores the importance of the conversation, but not attached to sex if you want the subject remembered.

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18. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Feb 19, 2008, 9:51 am PST

there is a section, towards the end of the blog, where the Dr. states that men may not listen to their other half because they feel emotionally overloaded, not emotionally numb. I think it would have been helpful if the Dr. had included a brief comment or a tip for women who are in relationships with emotionally numb men.

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19. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Feb 19, 2008, 9:53 am PST

everything is about him and him only

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20. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Feb 19, 2008, 10:07 am PST

I think some man wrote this, start a simple conversation, standing in the living room Naked, depends on the conversation, this would not work at all, maybe a few conversations, if he were in a romantic mood. And in the car? it could lead into an argument and that is not safe or confrontable, your concentration surely would not be on your driving in alot of conversations, Try again!!!

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21. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Feb 19, 2008, 10:16 am PST

I believe in the principles offered by David Zinczenko to facilitate better communication in relationship. I do not, however, think it's best to talk about a heavy subject that may rile one's partner while driving. The focus must be on safety while driving, naturally. If I've had a day at the office I'd love to forget about during a drive w. my loved one, let's say, then it may be that I simply do not want to talk about an intense subject because I know being the driver will distract me from putting my full focus on the conversation.

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22. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Feb 19, 2008, 10:18 am PST

A few things that can really help that weren't mentioned in the article: 1) ASK. "I'd like to talk to you about something, is now a good time, or when would be a good time?" Men don't need to be tricked into talking, but men (and women) do need to "buy in" to the conversation. 2) No whining or complaining. This one is hard and for me, I needed an Imago Therapist to begin to figure out how to do this. A lot of the negative reactions to "deep" conversations is because we don't know well how to deal with whining or complaining, but we sure know how to do it! I highly recommend Imago therapy if you can swing it. Failing that, read any of Harville Hendrix' books on the topic.

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23. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Feb 19, 2008, 10:28 am PST

Perhaps you should rethink having the "long, deep discussion" in the car, David. A couple in a car in front of me on the highway were doing just that once--having a "serious conversation," from what I could see in my captive position behind the wheel of my own car. After another six miles or so, when the "deep discussion" became an explosive argument, the car fishtailed first, then it flipped, airborne, into the median, hurling its two occupants into the grass. I was a witness to the crash and, to a lesser extent, the "deep convo" that led up to it, so the police were in touch with me. They informed me that the man had minor injuries; the woman was likely maimed for life. Hmm..did you forget how easily a "long, deep discussion" can become a dangerous fight in a car where lives are at stake?

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24. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Feb 19, 2008, 10:32 am PST

Sorry David. I have to disagree with trying to make him open up with deep discussion in bed. Many deep discussions are kind of stressful and you dont want to make the bed a place for stress. Sometimes these deep conversations may lead into disagreement (even if it is "agreed to disagree"). I feel the bed is for comfort and sex. NO STRESS ALLOWED. However, I do like the car ride idea. Everyone is open for conversation and does not feel so vulnerable.

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25. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Feb 19, 2008, 10:47 am PST

I don't want to know how to get a man to open up. I want to know how to get a woman to shut up.

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26. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Feb 19, 2008, 10:51 am PST

It's truly amazing the channels women have to go through, especially in these times when they are handling more and more tasks than before. We have to be everything to a man that he desires and find the right approachable time to speak with them and usually none of these times are correct if he is in a fowl mood anyway. We pamper men to death and they still are not pleased by the actions we take to make them happy. Its unbelievable.....

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27. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Feb 19, 2008, 11:07 am PST

I heard a man state, " I can't think as fast as you, so I'd just rather not talk furthermore, I just don't want to talk........Just leave me alone........I don't care how the wife tried to be empathetic to his needs, trying to find the perfect time to talk, simply just didn't exist. However, with his buddies there is always time to talk even if he disagreed with them and sometimes didn't feel to highly of them.......................go figure.....

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28. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Feb 19, 2008, 11:52 am PST

I definitely agree that attempts to talk something out while I'm in the middle of watching something important are doomed to failure. At times like that, I try my hardest to split my attention between the two, and I invariably wind up saying, "What did you say?". Choosing the right time is absolutely important. Thanks for sharing.

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29. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Feb 19, 2008, 11:55 am PST

The way I explain things to her, being very simple, and solution way of thinking. My wife find it cute and amusing. SOS! I get along great with my in-laws, but my wife is hurt that I get along with them better than she does. And she has stop talking to them. I sugguest her to see a therpist and that did not help much. I explain to her that parents do the best they can do, are not perfect and just blow off anything that upset her. Should I stay out of this mess or try to work things out between them.

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30. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Feb 19, 2008, 11:57 am PST

Great tips, I agreee with 3 of them. The best time I get my man to actually listen AND talk is riding in the car!

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