When a man first sets eyes on a woman that he likes and decides to make an approach, he's in for the emotional equivalent of an "American Idol" audition.
He's got mere seconds to make an impression and hope that his crush-object (you) will send him onto the next round - for more conversation, a drink, a number, and perhaps a first date.
He needs to do all that with the looming fear that the judge - you - will be harsher than Simon after the five-hundredth awful rendition of "I'll do it my way."
So how does a guy manage the risk? Typically, he'll pull out one of these four tricks from his arsenal. Here's what these strategies may say about him:
When he offers a compliment...
He's been instructed that the way to a woman's heart is through a well-constructed sentence about her eyes, hair, shoes, and fashion sense. So an opening of "great boots" is, of course, his initial tactic for conveying the message that he's a man who will appreciate everything you are, and everything you do on his behalf.
You can judge the intelligence of a man by whether he compliments something you control, like your second sense for accessorizing, or something you don't, like your eye color. The smart man compliments the woman's conscious choices, not the gifts of DNA (or the cosmetic surgeon).
When he tries a one-liner...
All of them are cheesy. All of them are unoriginal. All of them work about as well as lobbying reform in Washington. So why does he insist on asking if you're lost (because heaven is a long way away)? Because he's banking on the slim chance that you'll crack a smile.
He knows that women overwhelmingly want men who have a sense of humor, and since he doesn't have the seven hours to prove that he can offer witty banter, he presses the "play" button on his seven-second comedy routine to see if you'd like to sample some more of his material. Yes, it's a desperate measure, which often can imply a desperate man.
When he buys you a drink...
On the surface, it's just an $8 drink - and a fairly conspicuous bribe ($8 is worth 10 minutes of convo, isn't it?). But more than that, he wants to send the chest-thumping message that he can provide for you.
It's an old favorite, but the smoother and more confident man may just go ahead and order it up in hopes that you'll come to him, rather than asking if he can buy you a drink and risking that you'll answer in the negative.
When he asks you a question, any question...
He's feeling his way. A man can't always read the signs a woman gives off. So his main goal in the initial approach is to buy time ... time to talk, time for you to get interested, time for him to deliver his best material - during which time you're judging him in SO many ways, as this great article on the 10 ways women judge men shows! The question - if it's a good one - is his ticket in.
Surely, you can tell something about the man depending on the originality of his question. The trick for a man is to try to find the middle ground between the stupidly superficial ("crazy weather, today, huh?") and the needlessly provocative ("who are you voting for?"). If he can do that, then I hope you'll at least give him an answer - and a shot at asking a few more questions.
How about you? Flirting is an art form, as this insightful story explains. What's the best approach you've ever seen? Or, dare I ask, the worst?
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