Why Men Don't Talk By David Zinczenko - Posted Mon, Dec 17, 2007, 9:32 am PST

1. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Dec 17, 2007, 10:27 am PST

I love it when a man talks to me, especially when he smiles while doing so. I try to encourage him to talk & continue to talk, by saying something like "keep talking baby", & that nearly always works! Keep talking Baby!

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2. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Dec 17, 2007, 11:25 am PST

these are exactly the reasons I don't find it easy to open up - and I am a woman! maybe this isn't really a gender-based trait, but more of a personality trait? not all women are type-A's, you know.... : )

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3. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Dec 17, 2007, 2:12 pm PST

We don't talk because it was never about us men, it's has always been about women.....our views go into their ears and out the other. Why bother to speak. For example in a arguement with your love one, if she's always right what's the point of talking if my words doesn't mean anything. This is why guys don't talk much.

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4. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Dec 17, 2007, 7:10 pm PST

hmmm very interesting. thanks for article..

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5. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Dec 17, 2007, 8:04 pm PST

Excellent - thank you! I've been trying to learn how to better communicate with my new man (in a committed, live-in relationship for 7 months now) for several weeks, and he tells me to "quit digging for emotions," when all I really want is to know him better. He sends the sweetest texts and whispers mush as he drifts to sleep at night, but I feel better about easing up and letting him share his life at his own pace when we're face to face. Am I at least allowed 1 question a day, though? ;-)

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6. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Dec 18, 2007, 7:39 am PST

Well, it seems that you said it all!

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7. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Dec 18, 2007, 9:35 am PST

Getting a guy to open up to you is wonderful! Thanks for the tips David!! Once again, you've hit a home run!

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8. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Dec 18, 2007, 12:45 pm PST

I believe most of the article is true-- Men are afraid of opening up because of what was wrote, they are afraid that they will get into a lot of trouble, if what they say is not the same thing they said a week ago concerning a woman or party they went to.. So listen up men, and Women keep your stories truthful, then there will no need to be afraid . Opening up is a good thing, if what is relayed is sincere and honest. The reason most women keep asking questions is because they are not so sure what you are saying is truth or fiction.Women just want the same thing as men, if you have been talking all day at work, save a little for the partner at home. Be willing to open up first- without her having to ask, things go a lot smoother, the conversation ends without going on forever. Then both of you can enjoy the eve, without trying to find out what the day was like.. women work also, therefore it has nothing to do with the guy working all day and just wants to come home and relax without being hit with questions.

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9. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Dec 18, 2007, 5:42 pm PST

I believe that you are right...Work is called work for a reason...otherwise it would be called play. It is so obvious to me as a woman... that we need some down time when we return to our safe haven...our castle... and our prince has worked hard for her castle... (our castle)...and ofcourse his. For most women home means security... and their men know that ... She is so intuned to do her (job) to make sure... If they are respectfull of each other in their work place... the play ground will be so much more enoyable...and where is it written that people need to yammer so much? Take time to think about what you want to say... say it with love and kindness and above all respect... and make it words that include both your goals together... as a family... Isn't your goals your home and family and then the outside world (community)? Just a comment from a homemaker of over 30 yrs... with not many job skills... just a housewife.

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10. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Dec 18, 2007, 6:05 pm PST

Hell, yeah. Good job David. "Sorry, babe when I come home give some time to just chill. And I'll make sure I'll touch base with ya about today's b.s. before the night is over."

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11. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Dec 19, 2007, 8:46 am PST

I did find some interesting points in the article, however (I'm a woman of course) that we should understand how they are and let them be that way. A relationship requires a level of communication period and just because he wants to change my oil does not mean that this suffice's for him saying he loves me. I can understand some of the points but men too need to learn to adapt, just as they expect women to do.

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12. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Dec 19, 2007, 9:48 am PST

I liked this article. I believe that a man should have time for himself and not be nagged at. If he doesn't seem to be answering the questions given to him, then get the hint that he doesn't feel like talking. He will speak when he is ready.

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13. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Dec 19, 2007, 9:50 am PST

and i thought it is only my husband who goes straight to the bathroom and does not want share his life with me.

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14. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Dec 19, 2007, 9:52 am PST

Unfortunately, I have found that most women simply can't be trusted. They tell things to their girlfriends that should remain private, and they will use whatever they can against men during an argument. Of course, that means that they will use the very same things that men have opened up about. (Naturally, what I just wrote applies to too many men, also. Can't anyone keep his/her mouth shut? And that includes women who actually try to explain to their girlfriends why their guy has not proposed yet.) In most ways, I am lucky. My wife never tells *anyone else* about our business, even that which is only remotely private. Same with me. Unfortunately, we both have the bad habit of bringing up the past and of using what we have said before during arguments. We've been married 33 years, though, and we're working on the few problems that remain.

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15. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Dec 19, 2007, 9:52 am PST

I think his only meaningful point was the first one... men are afraid they will get into more trouble. I have been in countless situations with women where I have shared my innermost feelings just to have them ignored, tromped on... and worse, left for another man. I think three things need to happen: 1) women should not ask for what they are not willing to accept. If you want his deepest feelings you need to be able to hear them, validate them and accept them. 2) Understand that avoidance doesn't mean he wont' talk about something but that he needs to think about it or he doesn't feel safe. Give him time, make it safe. 3) Learn to listen without all the rapid fire questions. Try listening to everything he has to say without saying anything and then just validate his feelings.

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