2596. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Oct 05, 2009, 8:10 am PDT

does that mean kate cheater on Jon first?

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2597. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Oct 05, 2009, 8:48 am PDT

yes, I have seen this in families coping with a husband /father troubled in this way. Common tendencies are to not pay bills timely & control the checking account & cash; not care what was needed in the home or how inefficient or difficult life was for those at home; unable (or just unwilling?) to empathize, offer support or compassion; other family member's needs are acknowledged as real ONLY if they are aligned to his vision, and an overpowering tendency to dismiss all family members as being greedy or inefficient or not 'getting it' (i.e., stupid in their assessment of real needs). He is unconvincible that any way other than his own might be equally sensible, useful or otherwise perferrable . They generally are very prideful and believe their moral and intellectual life is above others. Relationships hurt, and often are destroyed. pathological.

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2598. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Oct 05, 2009, 9:35 am PDT

I can relate to those "symptons" since I was married to a man who fit this description and had big fidelity issues!

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2599. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Oct 07, 2009, 4:07 pm PDT

Cheating Signs: He may increase his achol intake to soothe his conscience. He may spend hours on the computer IM'ing his lover.. He may increase his gambling habits. All of the above happened to me. Judy Flowers

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2600. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Thu, Oct 08, 2009, 4:57 pm PDT

gfnhg

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2601. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Oct 09, 2009, 6:16 pm PDT

You forgot the number one way to know that he is a cheater or she is a cheater. Not answering your phone when the two of you are together and when you are apart. What is so damn important that you can not answer your phone??!!!!

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2602. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Sun, Oct 11, 2009, 1:41 am PDT

This simplistic read is more on the money than ppls may realise.

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2603. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Oct 12, 2009, 11:39 am PDT

He has grandious explanations for trivial things.

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2604. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Oct 19, 2009, 3:00 pm PDT

#2 confuses me ... anyway... this article is vague.

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2605. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Nov 02, 2009, 3:32 pm PST

What is this guy full of it or what. I'm as faithful as they come but sometimes I'm late on paying a few bills, money cash flow issues not infidelity. Sometimes I get mad and yell but I don't cheat on my wife. I might not be a die hard do gooder but I do try to do what's right and I help people out if I can. Does that really make me infidel or am I just being nice out of the kindness of my heart. I hate when some moron thinks he knows why men do anything and then try to make it into something. I pick my ass because my underwear crawls up there but this guy will say it's vecause I look at another woman or something dumb-ass like that.

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2606. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Nov 02, 2009, 4:16 pm PST

I DO KNOW OF AT LEAST A PERSON, PARTICULARLY ONE WOMAN ,WHO CLEARLY FITS THIS PROFILE. VERY EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE, DOESN'T EVER PAY THE MOST MINISCULE BILLS ON TIME [Otherwise, How do you explain not paying $212/$97/$48/$52/$112/$149 Revolving Account/Monthly bills on time, while earning $12,000 Monthly, as your Fixed-Income ?...] DESPITE THE FACT THAT HE SPONSORED HER PROFESSIONAL-COLLEGE EDUCATION, AND SINGULARLY HELD DOWN THE FINANCIAL FRONT FOR THEIR FAMILY FOR FIFTEEN SOLID YEARS;....AND WHAT'S MORE, ON A UPPER-MIDDLE CLASS AMERICAN ANNUAL INCOME, SHE CURRENTLY BERATES HIM, FOR NOT EARNING AS MUCH AS HE USED TO, SINCE HE'S STARTED ATTENDING MEDICAL SCHOOL, TO INVARIABLY IMPROVE HIS EARNINGS PONTENTIAL AND THE FAMILY GENERAL WELFARE. Talk about blant injustice and colossal ingratitude...!!! She's also very selfish and unsupportive of her spouse's hopes and aspirations; even though, he always supports hers. And in fact, had been known to "push the envelopes"[ IT'S TOO BAD THAT FOR LEGALITY REASONS, THE NATURE AND EXTENT OF THE ALREADY PUSHED ENVELOPES CANNOT BE SAFELY DIVULGED HEREWITH ], if it would help her achieve her goals and realise her dreams. HOWEVER, "SHE WILL NEVER SPARE HIM A PLUGGED NICKEL",.....EVEN IF IT KILLS HER...!!! SHE'S ALSO VERY VAIN, AND ALWAYS HOGGING THE MIRROR. AND WHENEVER YOU COMPLIMENT HER ON HER BEAUTY [As you often do ], SHE WOULD RESPOND VAINLY THAT OF COURSE SHE KNOWS THAT ALREADY. "AND EVEN YOU AS HER SPOUSE, ISN'T TELLING HER SOMETHING NEW;...AFTERALL, SHE GETS TO HEAR THAT SAME COMPLIMENTS ECHOED ALL DAY LONG, AT HER JOBS;... EVEN BY YOUNGER GUYS THAN YOU THE MIDDLE-AGED SPOUSE[THOUGH SHE HERSELF, IS ALSO MIDDLE-AGED]". She responds to your to your compliments and real sweetness by "cruelly" telling you how fat and overweight, [particularly in the belly area], she thinks that you now are!. Whereas, in fact, she's now twice the woman she used to be,when you met her. "I mean, talk about the pot calling calling the kettle black !". She's now a size 16, from an initial size 8. But who's counting ?. Nobody else, but her ! Who cares, that we all put on a few extra pounds since our youth ?. It comes with the territory of age-ing. An initial 189lbs, now 205 lbs for the Man;...and an initial 120 lbs, now 195 lbs for the vanity-struck Woman. But honestly, you wouldn't know it, by simply listening to her incessant rantings. SHE IS DEFINITELY "A YELLER !";...DESPITE THE FACT THAT THEY LIVE IN A CLOSE-COMMUNITY OF UPPER-MIDDLE CLASS NEIGHBORS. IN FACT, DUE TO THIS RUDE PRACTICE OF BEING INSENSITIVE TO THE NEIGHBORS' NEED TO ENJOY PEACE AND QUIETITUDE, EVEN LATE AT NIGHT, THEY HAVE DEVELOPED A RATHER COLD AND DISTANT ATTITUDE TO HER, WHILE BEING VERY FRIENDLY AND CORDIAL TO HER SPOUSE. I suppose the neighbors are on to her abusive ways and virulent vituperations and vitriols heaped daily, in dollops on her mild-mannered spouse. NEED I MENTION ALSO, THE FACT THAT SHE BELIEVES THAT SHE'S ROLLING IN THE DOUGH, COMPARATIVELY AS A WOMAN. Which in itself, for her, has its attendant vices....; especially given the fact that her spouse is currently making only a half of her income. THE COMPARATIVE FINANCIAL ADVANTAGE IS UTILIZED AS A CUDGEL, IN HER CRUEL HANDS. Anyway, it doesn't take a rocket-scientist to figure out, the rest. YET, SHE'S NOW [AT LEAST, SINCE THE PAST TWO YEARS], AN ARDENT CHURCH-GOER....!!!

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2607. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Nov 02, 2009, 4:51 pm PST

This article makes no sense. A guy who is financially irresponsible is more inclined to cheat and a guy who is financially responsible is more inclined to cheat? What kind of twisted logic is that? And since when was doing the right thing a bad thing? Not everyone who picks up trash is trying to compensate for something hidden. The only thing that makes sense here is the focus on guys who are vain, but even that is not an indication. The circumstances of ones life is no indication of their secrets, and a "study" only works by selecting a number of people, not a whole population, and is therefore subject to the criteria the researchers decided on. A guy can even have all 5 qualities above (for example, have allot of money but still be irresponsible with bills, be charitable and also be vain, and also yell in an argument) and still be faithful. At the same time, someone who has none of these qualities can cheat. The thing is, it's about choice. Someone CHOOSES to cheat. There is nothing in life that makes them do it, and nothing in life to encourage them to do it. There are no excuses, and no statistics. I have never cheated, and I match some of the qualities above, but a girl I was with did cheat on me, and she had none of the above qualities. Her worst quality was being emotionally manipulative, however. I think an article like this is only going to cause problems for people, especially since not a single study has been cited. I think this kind of stuff only makes people want to hire investigators instead of just TALKING about it. If someone I was with ever pulled an investigator thing on me, I'd probably break up with her, because anyone who can't trust me doesn't really love me.

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2608. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Nov 02, 2009, 10:14 pm PST

Utter nonsense. "Some research shows..." is meaningless, and the five signs in this article all fall into that category--meaningless. Whose research??? Would you like a real sign of infidelity? Here's one--from Dan O'Connor and Power Diversity. If you've enjoyed a playful, loving, intimate relationship with your spouse, and suddenly he seems to be laughing less, playing less, initiating intimacy less--he's playing with someone else. TAKE IT TO THE BANK. Now that's real, David, as opposed to whether he pays his bills on time, is a do-gooder, has money, yells, and is vain. I'd wager that people who pay bills on time, aren't do-gooders, aren't rolling in the dough, and aren't particularly vain are also philandering. So your clues have no significance, and are in fact clues about only one thing: You have done no research, and think the public will buy any pop-psych thing you say, if you are pretending to know "the signs" of cheating. After all, everybody wants to know THOSE signs. The reliable signs of infidelity, however, have to do with communication. If you are a savvy communicator, you will be able to see and read those signs (as opposed to worrying because your husband pays bills late, just joined the United Way, and appears to still be vain, as he probably was when you married him). Go to www.powerdiversity.com if you really want to know your spouse, and know what to look for in terms of fidelity. David, take a moment to give this some serious thought, please. Who pays you to write your articles? I'd like to meet that gullible dufus. Jean

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2609. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Sat, Nov 07, 2009, 5:31 pm PST

Ridiculus article

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2610. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Sun, Nov 08, 2009, 3:16 am PST

hi! i think the trait you're trying to describe is "conscientiousness", not "consciousness". :)

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