16. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Aug 08, 2007, 7:36 am PDT

#18 Hartofluv Thank you so much for you input. My situation is little complicated. One of my habits was international ballroom dance. I was in the silver level before I met my husband. I would enjoy to dance with a partner who was at the similar level as mine. My ex-boyfriend was my dance partner before we dated. When we were dating, he cheated on me numerous times. When I was looking for a husband, I would not want a man who danced. And my husband doesn’t know how to do ballroom but he is a wonderful person that I feel lucky to marry to. And my self-esteem is normal, I have all the qualities that most of women would love to be me. You wrote:” his jealousy is so amplified that it turns into an inner rage that short-circuits his sexual desire.” It sounds logic to me. How can I reverse it? And what should I do to make a man less jealous?

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17. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Aug 08, 2007, 7:48 am PDT

Love is patient; love is kind and envies no one. Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; never selfish, not quick to take offense. There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and endurance. In a word, there are three things that last forever: faith, hope, and love; but the greatest of them all is love.

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18. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Aug 08, 2007, 8:28 am PDT

#21, I agree with you whole heartedly and believed that to my very core when I got married. However, after 24 years of compromising myself away I can no longer continue living like this. Life is short .....to short to stay in a relationship that is not healthy for either party nor, if the truth be told, are either happy. Sorry for the downer but that's my reality.

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19. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Aug 08, 2007, 8:39 am PDT

Zinczenko: Helping his fellow women manipulate themselves right out of good relationships with real men.

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20. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Aug 08, 2007, 9:31 am PDT

#22, we all must choose our own path, after moving out of the family home 2 months ago my wife filed for divorce probably not knowing how much that changed her life.. then again how do you stay married to someone for 17 years that you're not in love and don't have sex with?

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21. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Aug 08, 2007, 10:05 am PDT

#20 Amy, I apologize if I was a little blunt. First of all, ballroom dancing is a really nice hobby to have. If a person really loves you, they should not make you sacrifice the things you truly enjoy. Yes you may have have some self-esteem, but when I read your post, the one thing that struck me immediately is that your husband is blaming you for his issues. I'm not a psychologist, but that's a clear sign of a controlling person who manipulates his partner into dictating how she should lead her life, such as giving up a part of her personality. I can't imagine that makes you feel good about yourself. In a healthy relationship, a person would discuss issues with their partner, and if it couldn't be resolved, he/she would seek professional help to get to the root of the problem. His sexual dysfunction is brought on by something within his own mind. You did not cause it. That's what I meant. If you feel you want to continue to tolerate this restrictive environment, the most you can do is urge him to see a therapist. If he won't go, try seeing one alone. It would be of great benefit to you.

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22. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Aug 08, 2007, 10:56 am PDT

#24, that's a good question. Sure that she, or you, haven't felt that way for the entire 17 years though. Know that I haven't. It's really just been in the last year. As far as the sex goes ......if I thought he was interested in me as a person and not just as a lay I would probably be alot more interested. Now it just feels like my marital obligation.

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23. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Aug 08, 2007, 11:50 am PDT

actually we stopped showing physical affection toward each other about 2-3 years into the marriage.. so yes it's been like that most of the marriage

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24. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Aug 08, 2007, 12:44 pm PDT

Roger058, please forgive me for asking but if the physical affection ended just 2-3 years into the marriage why did it take so long to end it? Didn't you realize at that point that there was a problem and try to work on it?

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25. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Aug 08, 2007, 12:53 pm PDT

we had a daughter after the first year and stayed together just for her.. kind of like being roommates without sleeping together, you just accept it that there's nothing real between us

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26. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Aug 08, 2007, 12:53 pm PDT

we had a daughter after the first year and stayed together just for her.. kind of like being roommates without sleeping together, you just accept it that there's nothing real between us

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27. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Aug 08, 2007, 5:51 pm PDT

roger058, I know the feeling, I did it after 3 kids as well. Sex 5 times, 3 children and one miscarriage in 10 years of marriage...it was for the children...They turned out great in the long run, but I feel like I lost a lot of quality time for myself in a romantic relationship. It's OK though, my children were worth the H*ll I went through. Thank heavens we had a big enough house to have BR's for the kids and a guest room for my ex and I stayed in the master. There is way much more that happened however, I choose it to leave it at that. thank heavens I have met a wonderful loving man now and my children have all graduated from college and one is now in graduate school...more issues but they are great and I'm fortunate to have them...so sad though, so sad.

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28. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Aug 08, 2007, 8:34 pm PDT

My boyfriend hates the fact Im up late at night, Ive always been this way and it causes many many arguments. So to me this isnt a harmless jealousy thing. And about the friends, hes so jealous of that too. Again theres alot of arguments about this too is not harmless to me. It causes more grief than you would ever know!

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29. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Aug 08, 2007, 8:41 pm PDT

# 15 Your husband has another problem, he's using inner connection as an excuse.... maybe he has a medical problem that he is afraid to discuss with you. you didn't say how old you both are.

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30. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Aug 08, 2007, 10:06 pm PDT

#32 thanks for sharing again. been here since march, first as rogerm058, yes it's sad not to be in a romantic relationship when there's so much love inside you and nobody to share it with, still not sure why cuetee3 said it's been longer and "gotcha" to me back in march which then which got me mad, yes it's been much longer for me, cause there is someone I've been in love with just can't bring myself to tell her cause I'd lose her as a friend if I did. she told me "that if I change then the friendship changes and we both don't want that".. couldn't she see I fell for her back in Feb, glad that you're doing better.. as for 69's I still remember what those are, it's only been about 20 years since I last had one but then I was married previously.. take care, IM me if you want someone to talk with..

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