Who Handles Break-Ups Better? By David Zinczenko - Posted Mon, Apr 09, 2007, 11:50 am PDT

1. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Apr 09, 2007, 12:21 pm PDT

I tend to agree With you one houndred percent.

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2. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Apr 09, 2007, 12:24 pm PDT

Just wanted to make a note - this article is all about if a women breaks up with a man - what about the other side? I think it's just more difficult in general for the dumpee than it is the dumper, specially if the dumpee thought everything was 'A Ok' and doesn't see it coming... Sure, women talk about things more with others, however, I think it is way easier for a man to meet someone new after a break-up than the other way around! Trust me, I have a lot of single, great, funny, smart, attractive girlfriends who, after ending or being broken up with a past relationship who are still licking wounds a lot longer than then their ex's...

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3. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Apr 09, 2007, 1:22 pm PDT

Very enlightening--just broke up with a guy about 4 months ago. (It was actually a mutual thing.) But about a month ago, he started contacting me again, which I'm ignoring as much as possible!! I am completely over him, but apparently, he's not. Thanks for the explanation!

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4. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Apr 09, 2007, 1:37 pm PDT

Wow- what an article- the only comment i have is directed toward this quote "Studies show that women consistently outscore men on measures of social, sexual, and intellectual intimacy--and women are often quicker than men to realize that intimacy provides the foundation of a lasting relationship, not the sexual thrills." Let's be realistic here- any women at any giving time can outscore a male- all women have to do is open their legs.

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5. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Apr 09, 2007, 2:03 pm PDT

I just broke up with a guy - not because I wanted to, but because I knew he wasn't in the same place that I was. He's nine years my junior, and just didn't have the first clue as to how to pursue me, or meet my needs. He sure liked me alot, but he didn't know how to show me how. I love him, but it just wasn'tworking. Anyway, I had no idea that he might actually be more hurt than he ever let on - or that he would even tell me. It makes me feel bad, but at the same time, he's still hung up on someone who turned him down months ago. Anybody have any input here? After David's article, I'm not sure what to think!

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6. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Apr 09, 2007, 4:26 pm PDT

aimee11633 I think that you know what is best for you. I think that we all know that breaking up is hard on all people that do care about others as well as themselves. I believe that a person should enter into a relationship to share ones life with someone rather than to find someone to complete thier life. As such when it is over, as it seems to be in your case, then you are still the same person you were entering the relationship. The fact that you feel bad does mean that you are someone that is not without feeling, and I would think that you had given him a good amount of chances to make the relationship work. Sometimes it just does not workout and life goes on. This is my thought.

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7. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Apr 09, 2007, 5:57 pm PDT

total b.s. both men and women mask their pain and don't communicate. both men and women may not have a good network of friends with which they can confide in. both men and women may dread starting over but it is usually the man that will bolt into a new relationship when a spouse dies or flees the nest, unlike women who tend to mourn after a relationship has ended. i can't believe that you think it's the men suffer at the end of a relationship moreso than women. you presume to know a lot.

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8. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Apr 09, 2007, 6:09 pm PDT

I am an extremely happily married man in my 40s with kids (who has always been regarded as very good looking, but when I was 21 I was engaged to someone else. That girl and I were about a month from the wedding when she up and left me after having a fight with my mother (who we were visiting). She just got in her car and drove off without telling me where she was going. She called me a week later and said, although she loved me alot and would never get over me, she hated my family and could not marry me. After about a year of not hearing from her, she called and told me that she had had my child and put it up for adoption and 'just wanted me to know.' I did not know she was pregnant and it really messed me up for years. I would have been thrilled and happy to raise my child myself, but men get no rights in this country. Between the break up and the betrayal over my child it took me almost 12 years to get that close to a woman again. I also went 5 years without sex out of fear I might get another girl pregnant (or maybe fall in love again). In hindsight, I had lost trust in woman from that one experience. I did not actually marry until I was 34, but now I am as happy as a lark.

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9. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Apr 09, 2007, 7:17 pm PDT

briannholli, Thank god you did not married to that psychotic!

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10. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Apr 09, 2007, 8:14 pm PDT

#8, yes, I agree with #9. Thank heavens you didn't marry that woman and I hope you look for your child, eventually. I met a woman several weeks ago that finally met her real father after 38 years, he was so happy that she found her it was unbelievable. All children deserve the right to know who their real parents are if they choose to find them. I think from your post that you wish you would have known. Hopefully your current wife would understand that. If for nothing else to find out their family tree, health history, and the comfort of knowing you wanted to be there. Most important is a health history. I am in the medical field and I have to tell you, there are adopted children and adults with health issues, it would help us to know what their families health history was in order to properly diagnose health problems. Not always, but occasionally. Glad you are happy briannholli. Good for you. K

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11. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Mon, Apr 09, 2007, 8:18 pm PDT

As for me, I was with a man for 10 years, after 9 years, he finally asked me to marry him while on a 2 week vacation in the Islands. I said yes, moved south with him only to find out that he was having an affair with another married woman he worked with...took me a long time to get over it. That was three years ago, and sometimes, I still think and fret about it. I did everything for him and was there for him through everything. It still hurts, no matter who I talk to about it. Three years later, I have a bf, but still the pain is still there.

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12. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Apr 10, 2007, 6:33 am PDT

This certainly helps me knowing that I am on the verge of leaving my 9 year relationship and he seems like the thought of it being over doesn’t bother him one bit.

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13. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Apr 10, 2007, 8:00 am PDT

these are great points... and i agree, the question now is, how do we get men to express their feelings?

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14. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Apr 10, 2007, 9:18 am PDT

David's kidding, right? I've never known a man who didn't have a new squeeze within days of a break-up with the previous one. It doesn't even matter who initiated the break-up - he's moved on an hour after the relationship's over. I honestly think men just don't get emotionally attached at all. As long as there's a warm body to have sex with, they're fine.

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15. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Tue, Apr 10, 2007, 11:20 am PDT

Most men, give the attitude that life goes on. And that makes a woman move on that much sooner. They feel there is NO hope for the future and that just confirms it.

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