By David Zinczenko Provided by: Men's Health

Dave Zinczenko's Mysteries of the Sexes Explained

Can Cheaters Change? By David Zinczenko - Posted Fri, Mar 30, 2007, 5:51 pm PDT

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  • 1. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Mar 30, 2007, 6:38 pm PDT

    i am a woman whom has been cheated on by her husband of 20 years and i met this awesome guy whom i cheated on twice and regret it very much and i want this relationship to work and i have changed,,,i realized i am in love with this man and he has agreed to be with me and he deserves better than that,, i do believe people can change if they want it bad enough,,, it is alot of hard work but it is worth it if you are both willing to learn from your mistakes and get passed all the bad things that have happened..you can make it

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  • 2. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Mar 30, 2007, 7:03 pm PDT

    Once a runner , always a runner. It is part of their make-up and even if they no longer have the strength to have an affair they are never faithful.

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  • 3. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Mar 30, 2007, 7:24 pm PDT

    My first husband was a wife beater and after seven years, and countless times of trying to leave,(not as easy as one would like to think), I realized the only way to get out was to make the divorce his idea. So I did what I knew would cause him to end the marriage-I cheated on him. Four years later, I am married to wonderful man I would never dream of cheating on. Different circumstanecs I know. But I would never do to my new husband what I did to the old, there is no reason to. So I changed. I don't consider myself a cheater, I puked up my lunch after I did it that once.

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  • 4. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Mar 30, 2007, 10:32 pm PDT

    Doubtful. If a man (or woman) is "wired" to ever accept cheating as acceptable behavior, I believe that under some circumstance, they'd do it again. I know of men how have been through a couple of marriages and cheated in each. In my personal experience, my ex cheated but I never did. It just wasn't (isn't) something I could ever do.

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  • 5. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Mar 30, 2007, 11:11 pm PDT

    Have I told you I love you?! I agree with your every word. You help me alot! You give me the reasurrance that my thoughts and decisions in relationships have been smart and the best for my emotional well being.

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  • 6. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Fri, Mar 30, 2007, 11:19 pm PDT

    I do believe someone who has cheated with one person can be faithful in another relationship. Then, at the same time some people are chronic cheaters who need help. But once someone has cheated its only best to leave. There was something missing in the relationship, so its best to find a partner that better suits you.

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  • 7. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Sat, Mar 31, 2007, 6:07 am PDT

    Hi! my self sohan,my problem is that I can not sex more than 10 minutes while I sex any girl. I am 25yrs old unmarried person. Please advise me.

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  • 8. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Sat, Mar 31, 2007, 6:08 am PDT

    my guy was secretly doining the internet dating thing. I was totally devestated. whether or not he hooked up...not too sure about that...obviously something was missing between us.the thing is. I didn't have a clue

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  • 9. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Sat, Mar 31, 2007, 6:10 am PDT

    cheaters do change, coming from an experienced cheater

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  • 10. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Sat, Mar 31, 2007, 7:01 am PDT

    I don't think that cheating is a behavior, I think is just a want for something that is not there to begin with. So the question is not whether a cheater can change or not, the question is, can he or she understand and find what's missing in their relationship? Many people, more than those that are willing to admit it, go into a relationship that they know is less than perfect, and they are conscious of the fact that they are settling for less than what they dreamt about. So it's no wonder that when the chance to cheat, or the chance to live something that resembles their true dreams is at hand, many will risk what they know could be better (their present relationship), in order to enjoy, if even for just once, what they have always dreamt about.

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  • 11. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Sat, Mar 31, 2007, 10:54 am PDT

    I am one of those women who have been seriously burned by my man. It did lead to a very nasty divorce. I am a firm believer that cheaters never change. It's something inside of them that makes them cheat. Of course I do believe that the relationship may have been lacking something, but most people will attempt to communicate what they feel and if things don't change, they leave. But a cheater seems to think that he can play this game and will be on a "high" until he gets tired of the game and gets caught. My ex-husband is with the woman he left me for and I know for a fact, that he has cheated on her several times now and will continue to do so as long as he finds willing participants!

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  • 12. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Sat, Mar 31, 2007, 1:25 pm PDT

    Alot of cheating, whether done by men or women, is due to boredom. Being with the same person becomes mundane and predictable. Even people who are happy with their partners may cheat just for the excitement and thrill of something different. I think it's morally wrong, but I also think it's human nature - albeit an ugly side of it.

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  • 13. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Sat, Mar 31, 2007, 4:14 pm PDT

    I believe If the cheater dont realize that he has a problem with insecurity and low self esteem about him or her self then they will never get to the solution. they have to get down to the causes and the conditions.and go on the inside of them to see whats really going on.and stop blameing others for their behaviors.

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  • 14. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Sat, Mar 31, 2007, 7:15 pm PDT

    Sorry guys! but I dont think that men can be faithfull its not in there generic pool. They are the male its there since to procreate and I truly do not beleave that a man can be faithfull to one woman, oh beleave me he loves her he just cannot stop himself...

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  • 15. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Sat, Mar 31, 2007, 7:21 pm PDT

    I belive a cheater is always a cheater. A Cheater can't change if he or she said they will. Don't belieave that someone cheats will change and not cheat agin because they will. So thats what I beliave. I don't have anything else to say about cheaters. Just don't turst them at all.

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