Whenever I need a little motivation, I make a conscious effort to channel someone who inspires me and whom I admire, whether it’s trying to mimic Michael Phelps’s amazing flip turns in the pool or emulating a gal pal of mine who seems to have gotten the whole career-kids-health–love-life balancing thing down.

One such amazing do-it-all, seize-the-day kind of woman is Jennifer Lopez. Besides Lopez and the amazing women we profile in our fifth annual list of Most Inspiring Women, I like to channel women I know from my everyday life.

I’m thinking, especially, of a cousin of mine, who is so generous of heart that she lifts me by her kindness every day. In fact, whenever I find myself getting irritated with someone, I often think of her wise words: “When someone says something that annoys you, take a breath and imagine that it is your best friend saying it to you. Would you be as irritated? Probably not.”

She has a good point. Sometimes, certain difficult people bug us not necessarily because of what they’ve said but because of who they are—we expect them to be annoying, no matter what they’re actually saying. By shifting my perspective, I’ve discovered that I can do a better job of taking someone’s words for what they usually are: well-meaning. Instead of getting irritated, I can then smile pleasantly and move on. (Thanks, cuz!)

You can use this technique for any area of your life. Want to increase your visibility at work? Think about what your most successful and respected colleague would do in different situations. As for me, I’m still trying to pull off a flip turn!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Want more from Lucy?
Subscribe to Self Magazine today and get two years for the price of one.

No time? No problem!
SELF Magazine's 15 Minutes to Your Best Self is packed with 573 easy, time-saving tips and tricks that you can do in under 15 minutes! Buy it now.