Men may be to blame for many things, but your stress level isn't one of them! Though 20 percent of women told SELF a partner is usually behind the tension they experience, "it might not actually be the case that your spouse is responsible for your being frazzled. You may simply be more likely to blame him," explains Catherine Birndorf, M.D., a psychiatrist at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital in New York City and SELF's mental-health expert.
 

To alleviate some of your angst, not to mention bickering, Dr. Birndorf suggests this stay-sane strategy:

1. Pinpoint the reason for your anger rather than lashing out at whoever is nearby. For instance, if your husband left the toilet seat up (again!) and you snapped at him, ask yourself why you're so teed off about this minor infraction. Something else might be the real source of your emotional rawness.

2. Try listing 10 things that preceeded your outburst; chances are, you're reacting to one of those. See? Once you put your feelings into context, it's easy to identify the true source of your frustration.

I'm a big proponent of open communication, which can prevent blowups. If you're stressed, tell your partner so he can offer support and know that it's not his fault. After all, your mate can be a great source of advice, love and sympathy if you clue him in to what's going on.

Another way to make life with your love less stressful: Resist the urge to rehash every annoying thing that happened at the office the minute you get home. If you really need to vent, give your guy the CliffsNotes version or set aside time to air your grievances later, when you've both had time to decompress. For more ways to manage relationships and stress, check out Dr. Birndorf's advice at Self.com.