"What's in your suitcase? Rocks?"
That's what my husband, Jimmy, said to me on the way back from our last family vacation, in Costa Rica, where, among other amazing activities (rain forest trekking, riding a zip line, bird and monkey watching), we all went to the beach and surfed. And for the first time, I did it without help or a push from an instructor—just me and the board and the moving waves.
Yes, my bag was heavy: I did bring home three rocks in my carry-on. Let me explain. After my first surfing experience five years ago, I brought home a smooth white stone, like a little moon, which I keep on my desk to remind me to take risks, be fearless. These Costa Rica rocks are linked together, as though a piece of string were tied around each one.
They are stacked on my desk to remind me to follow my own lead, no help or permission required. "Know your own direction," these new chunks of the planet tell me. I stack them—they tell me to build something, make something new. There are several stones sitting here on my desk at SELF, where I can see them—they inspire me to feel good about building something new (a new section of the magazine, a new Self.com application).
I think everyone needs these kinds of symbolic tokens (a Gumby to represent flexibility, a kaleidoscope to represent new vision, even a beautiful postcard) to remind us of all we dream of, and to take us to a calmer place. If collecting stones, shells or tchotchkes doesn't sound appealing, why not try these expert-tested shortcuts to serenity:
Get repetitive
Doing simple movements again and again—I like doing leg stretches—can help distract you and lull you into a calmer state.
Say cheese
When you're feeling frazzled, inspire a smile by holding a pen between your teeth, which tricks your brain into grinning mode. You'll instantly feel happier and more relaxed. (Sometimes it's OK to fake it till you make it.)
Picture this
Vividly imagine a soothing object or scene, including sounds, images and aromas. The more pleasant your picture, the more your tension will dissipate. (I like to imagine the view of the bay in front of my little house in Long Island.)
Stretch it out
I like to do this stress-relieving stretch after I've been hunched over my keyboard, furiously answering e-mail. Extend your arms forward at chest level, rotating your right arm to the left (so your palm faces out). Use your left hand to bend right fingers back. Hold for 10 seconds; switch hands and repeat.
Get the idea? You can find more tips (and share your favorite instant relaxers) on the Trade Happiness Tips forum at Self.com.
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