It is easy to point the finger at our significant other and say all of the things that are wrong with them. It is harder to point our fingers at ourselves and ask, "Why is this my experience?" It's hard to look at our past and present to see why we are experiencing this lack of self-love.
Unfortunately our society's educational system does not give us the education we need to build this sense of love for ourselves. There is no how-to manual. Our family is the only structure that offers us a hint of this 100 percent unconditional love, and if we were raised in a semi-dysfunctional (or extremely dysfunctional) family, then the odds of finding it are stacked against us.
At some point in our lives, we have to come to the decision to love ourselves, for our personal benefit and for the benefit of those who love us. A lack of self-love will ultimately turn an optimistic relationship into an unhappy one because neither person will be able to express unconditional love.
Learning to embrace yourself and love yourself unconditionally isn't easy, but here are some basic steps you can take toward self-love.
1. ACKNOWLEDGE that you have to love yourself unconditionally before you can love anyone else.
2. ACCEPT that your self-love can only come from you.
3. TURN YOUR ARROWS AROUND & POINT TO YOURSELF. You have to stop looking to others for love.
4. START NURTURING YOURSELF like you were a baby. Treat yourself to a solo dinner, go to the spa by yourself, tell yourself that you are beautiful.
5. DISCOVER ALL THE THINGS THERE ARE TO LOVE ABOUT YOU. Take the strengths survey at www.authentichappiness.com to see what your strengths are, and build your life around them.
If you follow this quick and easy guide to building self-love, you will finally attract the love in your life that you were missing before.
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In 1996, Aymee Coget decided to devote her entire life to helping millions of people live happier lives. Since then, she has busily been pursuing a doctorate in organizational psychology, enduring intense personal development and creating a profession out of making people happy. Aymee offers a three-month program that she invented that guarantees sustainable happiness, runs the California chapter of the Happiness Club, and is developing a TV show to help people get happy. Her book Wake-Up and Smile: Your Guide to Sustainable Happiness is due out in early 2008. You can learn more about her and how to live a happy life at Make Me Happy TV.
