1. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, May 20, 2009, 11:43 am PDT

I STRONGLY disagree about the suggestion of "keeping in prayers." A friend whose husband was in Stage 4 pancreatic cancer had this said to her by a sanctimonious bible-thumping co-worker. You would NOT believe the outrage this provoked from this soon-to-be widow who was very anti-organized religion. And you know what? There are more of us out there than you might think: we are spiritual but definitely and adamantly anti-organized religion and the church-y stuff is often extremely offensive. If the subtleties escape you, try thinking about the underlying arrogance in the praying comment. I enjoy your articles and respect your professionalism generally but in this instance please put your formidable intelligence and equally formidable compassion to work finding other suggestions that may be more effective.

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2. Posted by A Yahoo! Health User on Wed, Jun 10, 2009, 6:25 am PDT

The first thing I would say is, "I am here for you." Sometimes its not what we say, but what we do with our supportive actions. I would also tell my friend to be strong. It also varies on what type of metastatic cancer. I would tell her that medicine has advanced and to have hope, every one is different. For example, some people can have a lung nodule and live for years, others may have a brain tumor and do well. It all depends on the circumstances.

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