1. Posted by Sue M on Thu, Jun 07, 2007, 5:42 am PDT

Hi Lillie, I just found you online and enjoyed your blog entry. As I just yesteday met with my attorney to make all my final arrangements, your entry struck quite a chord with me. I was first diagnosed with stage llb invasive ductal bc in Dec., 2000. Treatment was MRM and 10 A/C treatments followed by expander reconstruction. I suffered recurrence in July, 2004. As a triple neg my treatment options are limited and often brutal. I've been lucky so far in that I've responded to treatment and right now am celebrating 19 months of remission. I know the deal so am grateful for being given the extra time to make my final arrangements. My funeral is pre planned and paid for and all legal papers have been filed (will, living will, power of attorney). I suppose that by completing these rather unpleasant tasks I am exerting what little control I have over my cancer. I know that the day will come when I will need hospice care. In order to face my fear of the unknown and to celebrate the "extra" time given me I've been trained as a hospice volunteer. My training was completed last month and already I have 5 patients. I travel to patient's homes and give their caregiver's a 2 hour break. The warmth and compassion of all hospice staff has greatly eased my mind. Because I have been "abandoned" by my family, I really do want to personally know the people who will be caring for me and keeping me comfortable as I near the end of this journey. I'm lucky to have a Significant Other who will be moving in with my son and I on August first. My 35 year marriage did not survive my initial diagnosis. I met my SO when I was bald and hadn't yet been reconstructed. After a 6 year relationship I know he'll be a wonderful companion to me and my son for the rest of my life. The hardest part of this journey has been having to make arrangements for my son's future care. You see, he suffered a severe head trauma as an infant which left him totally blind, mildly motor impaired, and with learning disabilities. He is not independent, althugh he is employed full time at Bank of America. His father and younger brother have refused consider caring for him when I'm no longer able. Therefore, I've had to find a nursing home placement for him. I was able to get him admitted and on the waiting list of a wonderful residence which is especially geared toward young adults with disabilities. I've begun giving away my things to people who have helped me over the past 7 years. Things really don't matter to me any more. Time with loved ones is the most important thing to me now. My SO will receive my entire (little) estate including real estate. My divorce was dreadful as I learned the extent of my ex husband's gambling and alcohol addictions. He left me penniless with his mean and threatening ways. He became infuriated when I was diagnosed with recurrence as upon my death he will stop receiving 1/2 of my pension. Obivously divorcing him was my only alternative. I am hopeful that I have many more months or even years to live. I intend to spend that time wisely doing the things I enjoy and spending time with prople who love me. Thanks for listening! Sue in Delaware mersic7@aol.com

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2. Posted by Rainbowgirl on Fri, Jun 15, 2007, 6:00 pm PDT

we just found out that my mom who is 86 now has secondary lung cancer. In the beginning she had breast, then bone, now this. The cancer has also attacked her vocal cords. Soon she will not be able to speak. What I really want to know is how long will she survive like this? I can't imagine the frustration of not being able to speak.

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3. Posted by Rainbowgirl on Fri, Jun 15, 2007, 6:01 pm PDT

we just found out that my mom who is 86 now has secondary lung cancer. In the beginning she had breast, then bone, now this. The cancer has also attacked her vocal cords. Soon she will not be able to speak. What I really want to know is how long will she survive like this? I can't imagine the frustration of not being able to speak.

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4. Posted by Richlyn D on Fri, Jun 22, 2007, 3:01 am PDT

hi

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5. Posted by waterlilly222@sbcglobal.net on Tue, Jul 31, 2007, 1:27 pm PDT

Thank you for broaching a subject few will. Pamela

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6. Posted by Madeleine on Wed, Oct 24, 2007, 7:13 pm PDT

Many friends and family of mine have had Breast cancer, and all i can say is "stick with 'em".

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7. Posted by BIBTI on Fri, Oct 26, 2007, 12:44 pm PDT

Dear stillfightin: I read your post and all I can say to you is although I don't know you, I love you! You are nothing short of couragous. You are such a strong and inspirational person.It's so sad that people that you spend so much of your time with end up being people you don't even know, You and your son are the ones that are truly blessed as you both fully understand the meaning of truly loving others I pray for you both and hope that you have many, many more years together and when it is our time to go home Know that there will be no more tears or suffering and we will be completely whole again. We will one day be rejoined with those that we love and who loved us. God Bless you and your son!!!

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