Most mothers don't want to be a burden to their children, but a breast cancer diagnosis is the time for everyone to come together as a family, united in support.

Having her daughter at her side during specific times through her treatment is something she will remember and cherish forever. Here are some ways to show your support:

• Accompany her to the doctor's office for her appointments with the surgeon, medical oncologist, and radiation oncologist. Be her extra set of eyes and ears. Take notes for her. Tape-record the consultations so no confusion arises about the discussions and recommendations made for her.
• Research the best facility for her to have her treatment. This may mean she might have to travel a little farther if a comprehensive breast center is not located in the region where she lives. Moms have a tendency to prefer going places that they know and that have cared for them in the past. But explain to her that breast cancer is serious business and help guide her in the direction of a National Cancer Institute-designated facility.
• Offer to be a sounding board for her when it comes to making decisions about treatment options. Make a list of all her options, along with their pros and cons. This doesn't mean you get to make the decision for her, though. She is an adult and unless she has mental problems preventing her from making such assessments for herself, she needs to remain in the driver's seat.
• Prior to her surgery, accompany her to pre-operative teaching sessions at the facility so you are both well prepared and know how best to support her both physically and emotionally. Having a clear picture of what to expect will reduce a lot of her anxiety, too. The breast center doesn't offer pre-op teaching? They should, so request it anyway — you may become the first family getting it, and so you'll be starting a wonderful trend.
• Prepare and freeze meals in advance of her operation. Plan to do her laundry, either at her home or at yours. Keep her house clean. These are things she'll never ask you to do. Just do them.
• Remind her how much you love her. She can never hear those words enough.
• Research clinical trials in her area she may qualify for by visiting www.clinicaltrials.gov. Bring the information with you to her visits with her doctors.
• Get her on prayer lists if you believe this would give her spiritual comfort.
• Empower her and yourself with information about breast cancer and its treatment. There are lots of good Web sites. My favorites are www.breastcancer.org,  www.hopkinsbreastcenter.org, and www.cancer.org.
• If she is having a mastectomy without reconstruction, go with her to the place that is fitting her with a breast prosthesis. She will value an honest opinion from someone she trusts about how she looks.
• Help her to keep active. Women can get depressed during treatment. It's natural. They get tired, too. One way to combat both of these pitfalls is exercise and activity.
• Find a support group for survivors run by a trained facilitator and attended by upbeat people.
• Be there for her. Call her on the phone and mail her cards or e-mails even if you see her every day.
• Celebrate the end of each segment of her treatment with an ice-cream cake, dinner out, a funny chick flick, or even a backyard party.
• If your mom is on a limited income, get her prescriptions filled and pay the bill. Use your car for transportation — that way, you can also take care of the gasoline and parking fees. Find out from her insurance company what is covered and what is not, and prepare a budget sheet for her. Check with the pharmaceutical company that manufactures her medications because most of them offer discounted drugs for women on tight budgets. You just need to ask.

Your mom raised you and took care of you when you were sick as a child. Show her that you love her by taking care of her now. It's an extraordinary journey you can take together as mother and daughter.