Patient, Caregiver Tips to Enjoy the Holidays

For many, the holidays are a busy time spent shopping, cooking and visiting relatives. Cancer patients and caregivers need to know their limits, however, and give themselves permission to say no, social workers say.

"Cancer patients and caregivers can feel torn between maintaining long-cherished traditions and dealing with a not-so-pleasant health problem," says Lakshmi Naik, clinical social work supervisor at M. D. Anderson. "They are already so overwhelmed by the disease and its treatment, but yet have to fulfill their responsibilities. Trying to please eveyone can leave them with a sense of inadequacy."

The important thing to remember is that many patients and caregivers don't have the stamina, time or financial ability to do what they did in the past, and they need to re-prioritize by putting themselves first, she says.

There are many things patients can do to take care of themselves:

• Take stock of emotions, health, stamina, resources, time and priorities
• Make a list of "want to do" versus "can do"
• Make health a top priority (eat right, sleep well and laugh much)
• Seek help with holiday errands
• Shop with other people and limit shopping time
• Take time for naps, massages and quiet time (even just for a few minutes)
• Be careful with sharp objects like scissors and knives (patients who bleed easily)
• Avoid negative thoughts about what doesn't get done
• Let go of being a perfectionist
• Think of the holiday season as a joyful time
• Spend time with people who are loving and positive
• Exercise lightly
• Take it easy (pace themselves)

"We ask patients to set realistic limits on what they can do," Naik says. "Instead of going shopping for gifts, we ask if they can send a simple card, a cute e-mail or just say something nice. It can be simple and yet meaningful."

The three general suggestions Naik makes to reduce stress are: plan, organize and prioritize. Back-up plans are also important.

"The goal is to make the best of things and be joyful," she says.