When Meg's brother was diagnosed with lymphoma, her world was suddenly turned upside down. However, through his unique approach to treatment, Meg found a way to make facing cancer something to live for.
Meg's Story
"My brother could always talk me down from the ledge."
My brother, Kevin, and I had always been very close. Growing up, he was the one I called. He was also a tease and the kind of person who would insist that we do car dancing at red lights. He had this great sense of calm and peace about him. We were living right around the corner from each other when he was diagnosed with cancer.
"Treatment was not going to be an easy road
When I got the call, my initial reaction was dread. Chemotherapy was something that Kevin felt very negative about it. We're a close knit family and we tried to reserve judgment, but I think he could feel that we wanted him to fight. It was all uncharted territory. Eventually, Kevin helped us to realize that while it's really easy for other people to sit back and say: You have to fight; you have to want to live; ultimately, it's not your choice.
"My brother decided to turn chemotherapy into something positive."
To cope with being in the hospital, Kevin led the charge. It was very important to him to keep his comfort. He started calling his [chemotherapy] treatment his "elixir." When the nurses would come in and say: "We're here to hang your chemo," he would gently insist they [and the doctors] refer to it as his elixir.
When faced with five days at a time in the hospital, he brought a chair that he was comfortable in and could sleep in. He decorated the walls and he had a DVD player. He wore his own clothes. He did things that you think are really small-like decorating the hospital room and having friends come in to do massage-that actually make a big difference.
"Through his experience I was able to see how to enjoy living."
Kevin and I realized that we were so lucky that we had so many friends and family who were on hand to keep him comfortable. We knew that not everyone had this. Not everyone had visitors coming in and not everyone had people bringing them food. The Elixir Fund, which is a [non-profit] organization dedicated to improving the comfort and care of cancer patients and their families, grew from Kevin's experiences.
The last three weeks of Kevin's life he was in the hospital, and he was accepting that this was it, there was no other treatment. I decided I didn't want a house full of flowers, so I got an account set up and told people they could donate to the Elixir Fund. And that is where it started.
"Anything to lighten your load."
When you are going through cancer treatment it is so easy to be depressed, but I've discovered that it takes so little to lift people out of that. When you start someone laughing it just goes from there.
The Elixir Fund tries to take the focus off of how hard cancer treatment is. We provide mini-makeovers for women in treatment and we supply DVD players and music. We have people come in and do comedy or educational programs. We do small things like getting rid of the standard teal, beige and mauve color pallet for hospital rooms. And in the future we're looking at starting yoga programs and pet therapy.
"The sky's the limit."
What keeps the momentum going for me is that when you are going through treatment cancer becomes your focus. You can't make long range plans. You can't plan trips because you never know what your blood counts are going to be. Your life is put on hold. To be able to give people that are going through cancer a chance to laugh and live through the blood work and losing your hair is what keeps me coming back. Despite all the heavy stuff, there can be so much joy. When you are faced with something that is life threatening, you really start living. Things become much simpler. You really find the joy in everyday things. That is an incredible thing to watch and be a part of.