Safety plan for violent situations

If you are threatened or are concerned about your safety, it is important to have a plan in case you are in danger and have to act quickly.

If you are living with a violent partner:

• Think of a safe place to go if an argument starts. Avoid rooms without exits, such as the bathroom, or rooms with weapons, such as the kitchen.
• Make a list of places where you can go and people you can call in case of an emergency. Make sure that this list is never available to the abuser.
• Keep change with you at all times in case you need to make a phone call from a phone booth.
• Memorize all important numbers.
• Establish a code word or sign so that family, friends, teachers, or coworkers know when to call for help.
• Think about what you will say to your partner if he or she becomes violent.
• Teach your children how to call for help in an emergency.

If you leave or are thinking of leaving, develop an "exit plan" in advance for you and your children.

• Pack a bag in case you have to leave home in a hurry. Hide the bag or give it to a friend to keep. Pack toilet articles, medicine, an extra set of keys to the house and car, an extra set of clothes for you and your children, and a toy for each child.
• Hide some extra cash, loose change for phone calls, checkbook, or savings account book, or give these things to a friend for safe keeping.
• Take all of your important papers and documents with you. These will help you when you apply for jobs or benefits or take legal action. Important papers and documents include:
  • Social security cards and birth certificates for you and your children.
  • Your marriage license.
  • Leases or deeds in your name or both your and your partner's names.
  • Your checkbook, credit cards, bank statements, and charge account statements.
  • Insurance policies.
  • Proof of income for you and your partner, such as pay stubs or W-2s.
  • Photos, police reports, or medical records that document past abuse.
  • Restraining order.

Contact the police to obtain a restraining order if you are no longer living with a violent partner and he or she continues to pursue you, threaten you, or act violently toward you. If you are no longer living with a violent partner:

• Change your phone number.
• Screen calls.
  • Use caller ID.
  • Use the prerecorded message on your telephone's answering machine or have a friend record your message for you.
  • Never include your name, address, or phone number in your prerecorded message.
• Save and document all contacts, messages, injuries, or other incidents involving the abusive person.
• Change your locks, if your former partner has a key.
• Avoid staying alone.
• Plan how to get away if confronted by an abusive partner.
• If you have to meet your partner, do it in a public place. Have someone else go with you if possible.
• Change your routine. Don't take the same route home from work or park in the same spot every day.
• Change your emergency phone contacts at work and at your children's school.