Helping a depressed person

Many people feel helpless when they are around someone they care about who is depressed. However, you can help the person who is depressed by doing the following:

• Spend time together, but do not spend longer than you can handle. Some people begin to feel depressed themselves when they are with a person who is depressed. If this happens to you, limit your visiting time.
• Read, listen to music, pray, talk, or just sit quietly together.
• Answer the person's questions honestly, but do not try to solve his or her problems.
• Do not give false reassurance, such as by saying things like, "Everything will be all right." Instead, say something like, "I know you don't feel like talking now. That is okay. I'm here for you."
• Talk about times you have enjoyed together and remind him or her of happier times.
• Plan to do something fun together, especially when the person is feeling better. Ask if there is anything you can do to help.
• Expose the person to daylight. Open the curtains, or go outside together for a walk or drive.
• Anticipate his or her needs, such as making a small snack, offering to put on some music, or turning on the lights in the room when the sun goes down.
• Use touching, hugging, or massage if it is comfortable for you both.
• Don't take responsibility for someone else's feelings. Remember that a person with depression will stop blaming others for negative feelings as he or she gets better.
• Encourage the person to get or stay in treatment, especially if it appears to be taking longer than the person anticipated to get better.