Time-out

Time-out is a technique used to teach children how to control their behavior. It works best for children who understand why it is being used, usually children over the age of 3. Time-out also works best when the normal behavior of parents is to make frequent, brief, physical contact with the child when he or she is behaving as expected (an activity called time-in).

Before beginning a time-out plan:

• Get a small, portable kitchen timer.
• Select a place in your home for time-out. It needs to be a place without distractions. Do not choose a dark, scary, or dangerous place. A chair in the hallway or corner of a room may work best.
• Practice the time-out procedure with your child when he or she is in a good mood. Explain that bad behavior, such as throwing food or not sharing toys, will result in a time-out.

The time-out procedure includes telling your child why he or she is going to time-out. State only once, "Time-out for having a temper tantrum." Then:

• Direct or take your child to the time-out place. If you need to carry your child, hold him or her facing away from you.
• Set the timer for the time-out period. The rule of thumb is 1 minute for each year of age, with a maximum of 5 minutes for time-out.
• At the end of time-out, say to your child, "Okay, time-out is over." In addition, let the child know in some way that you love him or her, such as a hug.

While your child is in time-out:

• Stay calm and do not act angry.
• Find something to do, such as read a magazine or talk with a friend on the phone.
• Be sure that your child can see you and see what he or she is missing.
• Don't look at or talk to your child.
• Don't talk about your child.