Food banks, neglect, abandonment, drug abuse -- those are just of few of Nicolette's childhood memories. But instead of following her parents' lead, Nicolette used those experiences to launch life on her own terms.
Nicolette's Story
"My mother fell into drugs."
My mother was a really strong, hard working, single mom. Eventually that came to a head, and she just got so stressed, providing for four children on her own, it became insurmountable. She fell into drugs. There would be weeks at a time where she just wouldn't show up. I would take care of my brothers and sisters, and even though it was an awkward environment and we were very poor, we were always really happy and loved each other.
"I started to realize it was bad if she was going to give up her kids."
We were her strength, we were what made her go on. For her to give that up she had to be far out on something. I think she gave us up because she knew if we stayed with her that our lives would not be good. The type of things that would end up happening to us would just be horrible. She wouldn't even be able to feed us. It was a weird, desperate move for her to send us to live with other people. I think she thought if she put us out there that somehow we would be taken care of, and luckily we were.
"It was really hard being separated from my mom because we were so close, but I always knew somehow that she knew I was thinking of her."
There were some nights where I would think, "What if my parents were dead, both of them right now and I wouldn't know?" There were a couple times that she would just call at 3 a.m. and I hadn't heard from her in two or three years. I would answer the phone and I would hear her voice and know that she was okay. But then she would hang up. I would be so happy, but then it would devastate me to know that she was so close yet so far away.
"Every new day was something that I could make positive and that I could control."
This seemingly bad situation made me work harder academically because that was one thing I could focus on and control and put all of my emotions into and succeed at, regardless of what was going on. Coming from that type of situation really drove me to be successful. You hear so many stories about kids who live in the same environment I grew up in and they fell into drugs themselves, and they fall into these situations where it is self loathing and everything is awful. I was able to flip it into this positive thing.
"All these experiences, good and bad, got me to where I am."
Even though you come from a particular situation, it is still up to you and your will to come out successful and make it into a positive living experience. I don't know if I would be as successful had I not come from that type of environment. I appreciate the smallest things now. When people ask me if I would change one thing, I say no, because it made me who I am. My mother's drug problem got me to where I am today. She built strength in me that I don't think I would be able to get any other way. I can do anything now, I really feel like I can.
